It all began with a blunder.
Friends had given me positive reports about a monthly tea dance for lesbians over 35 held at a gay club here in Seattle. I'd heard a lot of women on the dating prowl showed up for these "Hot Flash Dances." Being me, I was willing to go just because I loved the name.
My friend Clare and I conspired to try it out. We parked, walked up to the club, and discovered we'd picked the one Saturday the dance organizers apparently skip. Really, it takes talent to perform such a bone-headed maneuver.
Clare and I retired to the women's bar to grumble about the difficulties in meeting single lesbians. Before we descended irretrievably into beer-soaked self-pity, I voiced an idea that had been poking around the fringes of my brain.
Roughly speaking, the idea was "Hey, kids, let's put on a show!" mixed with "If you build it, they will come."
We decided to find a large space and stage a lesbian social event of our own. I guess that's taking the bull by the horns. Or, um, the cow by the udders.
We envisioned scads of single lesbians meeting and schmoozing. A time and place for women who want to connect to do so safely and unabashedly. Not to mention cheaply—we're charging $2 a head for munchies. A way better deal than Match.com.
I borrowed a pen from the bartender to keep track of all the brainstorming. Where could we hold this event? How could we spread the word about it? Just how effective is a grapevine of mature but hot-to-trot lesbians?
We tackled the question of how to run this do. Speed-dating? No, too much work, especially for us. Have everyone talk about herself for a minute? Too stressful. Turn out the lights and lock the doors? Hmm.
We decided to go pretty free-form. Our job is to get the lesbians in a big room, and provide a congenial atmosphere. After that, the actual communicating will be up to them. Although we might have a way or two of facilitating that. A cattle prod leaps to mind.
As we fine-tuned the plan, I became aware how good it felt to be doing something proactive. This was much more satisfying than whining over beer, or beefing over wine.
Clare had an epiphany. The gay-friendly church for which she works as a graphic designer has rooms suitable for gathering. I was several beers short of thinking our scheme betrayed a touch of the divine, but it did sound more and more inspired.
At the first opportunity, Clare secured permission from the woman who schedules rooms at the church. That gal also became our first customer. Now that's a symbiotic relationship.
I wrote a blurb about the event to send to listservs and friends. I didn't promise the moon, knowing full well we couldn't provide it. The truth, it seemed to me, was alluring enough—that there are lots of women out there over 35 who want to meet other women, and if word of this affair spreads, we could have oodles of lesbians on hand for an evening of schmoozing and cruising.
If word doesn’t spread and attendance is sparse, I'll be forced to make the most agonizing small talk since Queen Elizabeth found herself seated next to George Bush.
Judging by the e-mails Clare and I are receiving, I don't think that will happen. Women are signing up. Several people who can't come that evening want to be on our mailing list. Our what? I thought we'd strike a nerve, but I didn't foresee turning into Dolly Levi.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
The Pink Badge of Courage
Goodness knows the LGBT community isn't perfect. But there are moments when we do something so right that I just beam, and a recent announcement has me looking like a lighthouse with hair.
For eight years the Colin Higgins Foundation has bestowed its Youth Courage Awards on exceptional LGBT young people. For seven years I'd managed to be unaware of every one of those facts. Now, after reading about 2007's crop of awardees, I mean to look out for the list annually.
This year's four winners are being honored, the foundation noted, "for building bridges between disparate communities, showing courage in the face of tremendous obstacles, and transforming the world of LGBT advocacy." Heavens, is that all?
Ali Abbas, 19, was born in rural Illinois to Lebanese Shiite Muslim parents. While growing up, he experienced the fun of anti-Arab harassment, especially after 9/11. When Abbas came out during his senior year in high school, his friends dumped him and his parents were considerably less than ecstatic.
Abbas now works to put himself through DePaul University. The $10,000 grant each award winner receives will surely help him with his scholarly needs, like tuition, books and pizza.
His goal is to boost the mainstream gay community's acceptance of queer youth of every hue, as well as to help foster gay freedom in the Middle East. Hey, why not think big?
Also of Muslim descent is Raquel Evita Saraswati, 23. At age 15 she became a member of the national board of directors of GLSEN. As a student at Simmons College, she led both gay and Muslim groups on campus. Her name appeared on an international hit list of "16 Women Who Shame Islam," resulting in threats of death, sexual assault and physical mutilation.
A mere mortal might've thrown herself into a closet, veiled from scalp to toenail, but not Saraswati. Now this Muslim lesbian is a leader in the Islamic reform movement.
The list of junior over-achievers continues with Ryan Bowker, 20, who grew up on the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe reservation in South Dakota. Bowker came out to his sisters at the age of nine. (That's over-achieving right there.) His grandfather, who was raising him, later put him into counseling to straighten him out, and by 15 Bowker landed in foster care.
He managed to graduate high school a year and a half early, and earned a nursing certificate. His ambition is to become a registered nurse and return to his reservation to do HIV prevention and counseling. In the meantime, he conducts outreach to reservations and schools, teaching youth about the Native American tradition of respect for "Two Spirit" people.
So, are you feeling unaccomplished yet?
Kiya Morton, 20, was born biologically male in Philadelphia. When her mother discovered she was gay, she checked her into a mental institution, which drugged her to make her straight. She ran away and at 15 began hustling, while transitioning to become a girl. Prostitution landed her in group homes, where she had to be a boy. In a juvenile detention center, staffers physically and sexually assaulted her. She got out by claiming to be suicidal, which most of us would've been by then.
Then Morton protested to the powers that be about the treatment of transgender people in the system. Partly due to her, that detention center closed down, and Pennsylvania adopted new guidelines for the treatment of all LGBT youth in state care.
I say hurray for these determined young people, hurray for the late screenwriter/director Colin Higgins for starting this foundation, and hurray for its administrators, who emphasize that our community includes people of every age, color, religion and income. And some have an ability to persevere that I'd plain like to bottle.
For eight years the Colin Higgins Foundation has bestowed its Youth Courage Awards on exceptional LGBT young people. For seven years I'd managed to be unaware of every one of those facts. Now, after reading about 2007's crop of awardees, I mean to look out for the list annually.
This year's four winners are being honored, the foundation noted, "for building bridges between disparate communities, showing courage in the face of tremendous obstacles, and transforming the world of LGBT advocacy." Heavens, is that all?
Ali Abbas, 19, was born in rural Illinois to Lebanese Shiite Muslim parents. While growing up, he experienced the fun of anti-Arab harassment, especially after 9/11. When Abbas came out during his senior year in high school, his friends dumped him and his parents were considerably less than ecstatic.
Abbas now works to put himself through DePaul University. The $10,000 grant each award winner receives will surely help him with his scholarly needs, like tuition, books and pizza.
His goal is to boost the mainstream gay community's acceptance of queer youth of every hue, as well as to help foster gay freedom in the Middle East. Hey, why not think big?
Also of Muslim descent is Raquel Evita Saraswati, 23. At age 15 she became a member of the national board of directors of GLSEN. As a student at Simmons College, she led both gay and Muslim groups on campus. Her name appeared on an international hit list of "16 Women Who Shame Islam," resulting in threats of death, sexual assault and physical mutilation.
A mere mortal might've thrown herself into a closet, veiled from scalp to toenail, but not Saraswati. Now this Muslim lesbian is a leader in the Islamic reform movement.
The list of junior over-achievers continues with Ryan Bowker, 20, who grew up on the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe reservation in South Dakota. Bowker came out to his sisters at the age of nine. (That's over-achieving right there.) His grandfather, who was raising him, later put him into counseling to straighten him out, and by 15 Bowker landed in foster care.
He managed to graduate high school a year and a half early, and earned a nursing certificate. His ambition is to become a registered nurse and return to his reservation to do HIV prevention and counseling. In the meantime, he conducts outreach to reservations and schools, teaching youth about the Native American tradition of respect for "Two Spirit" people.
So, are you feeling unaccomplished yet?
Kiya Morton, 20, was born biologically male in Philadelphia. When her mother discovered she was gay, she checked her into a mental institution, which drugged her to make her straight. She ran away and at 15 began hustling, while transitioning to become a girl. Prostitution landed her in group homes, where she had to be a boy. In a juvenile detention center, staffers physically and sexually assaulted her. She got out by claiming to be suicidal, which most of us would've been by then.
Then Morton protested to the powers that be about the treatment of transgender people in the system. Partly due to her, that detention center closed down, and Pennsylvania adopted new guidelines for the treatment of all LGBT youth in state care.
I say hurray for these determined young people, hurray for the late screenwriter/director Colin Higgins for starting this foundation, and hurray for its administrators, who emphasize that our community includes people of every age, color, religion and income. And some have an ability to persevere that I'd plain like to bottle.
Monday, July 16, 2007
The Scarlet Letter
If they would just stop telling the rest of us how to live, then they wouldn't be required to wear the scarlet "H" for hypocrite when they go off the rails. But too many powerful social conservatives refuse to figure this out until they find that letter stitched onto their designer lapels.
Consider two politicians who have just made the news in ways that surely has them yearning for the golden days of last month.
Louisiana U.S. Sen. David Vitter, Harvard-educated and a Rhodes Scholar, had been a model conservative Republican first in the U.S. House and then the Senate.
But when his phone number turned up on the D.C. Madam's recently published phone records, the Catholic Vitter issued a statement saying, "This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling."
I know the former is considered the forgiving sort, but Vitter's wife once remarked on the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal that, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he [Vitter] does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."
I haven't yet heard about any Louisiana ER's coping with a certain daunting task.
Just last month Vitter, the father of four, pushed for increased federal dollars for teen abstinence programs. He wrote that averting teen pregnancy is best accomplished "by teaching teenagers that saving sex until marriage and remaining faithful afterwards is the best choice for health and happiness."
Give me an "H," give me a "Y," give me a "P," give me an "O," give me a "C" . . .
Vitter vigorously opposed same-sex marriage throughout his tenure in Washington. In a Senate speech a year ago on behalf of a constitutional amendment against gay nuptials, Vitter declared it was "well overdue that we in the Senate focus on nurturing, upholding, preserving and protecting such a fundamental social institution as traditional marriage."
. . . give me an "R," give me an "I," give me a "T," give me an "E!" What's it spell? "VITTER!"
Despite concerns about Rudy Giuliani's social views being too liberal, Vitter signed on as the southern regional chair for the Republican's presidential campaign. We'll see whether Rudy signs him off.
John McCain's presidential campaign just saw one of its Florida co-chairs, Bob Allen, arrested for offering to perform oral sex on a male undercover cop.
Like McCain needed more problems.
Republican State Rep. Allen, married with one child, in March co-sponsored the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which would've enhanced Florida's prohibition on public sex. It didn't pass. Lucky for him.
Allen supported amending his state's constitution to forbid same-sex marriage, backed Florida's ban on gays adopting children, and opposed a measure protecting gay students from bullying. His is a stellar anti-gay record in Florida, one Anita Bryant could gush over.
According to the police report, cops on a burglary stakeout in Titusville noticed a man enter a park restroom three times. An officer went in, and was soon joined in a stall by Allen, who suggested they retire to a quieter area nearby. They agreed Allen would pay $20 to perform a sex act on the man. The legislator was arrested and charged with solicitation of prostitution.
The next day Allen announced his innocence. He plans to fight the charges and stay in office. This was just—as we hear so often--a "misunderstanding."
Reading the cop's account, it's hard to imagine a misunderstanding. Perhaps Allen, this potential flamer and potential flaming hypocrite, actually meant he wanted to try to fool the man—perform a snow job on him.
Consider two politicians who have just made the news in ways that surely has them yearning for the golden days of last month.
Louisiana U.S. Sen. David Vitter, Harvard-educated and a Rhodes Scholar, had been a model conservative Republican first in the U.S. House and then the Senate.
But when his phone number turned up on the D.C. Madam's recently published phone records, the Catholic Vitter issued a statement saying, "This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling."
I know the former is considered the forgiving sort, but Vitter's wife once remarked on the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal that, "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he [Vitter] does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."
I haven't yet heard about any Louisiana ER's coping with a certain daunting task.
Just last month Vitter, the father of four, pushed for increased federal dollars for teen abstinence programs. He wrote that averting teen pregnancy is best accomplished "by teaching teenagers that saving sex until marriage and remaining faithful afterwards is the best choice for health and happiness."
Give me an "H," give me a "Y," give me a "P," give me an "O," give me a "C" . . .
Vitter vigorously opposed same-sex marriage throughout his tenure in Washington. In a Senate speech a year ago on behalf of a constitutional amendment against gay nuptials, Vitter declared it was "well overdue that we in the Senate focus on nurturing, upholding, preserving and protecting such a fundamental social institution as traditional marriage."
. . . give me an "R," give me an "I," give me a "T," give me an "E!" What's it spell? "VITTER!"
Despite concerns about Rudy Giuliani's social views being too liberal, Vitter signed on as the southern regional chair for the Republican's presidential campaign. We'll see whether Rudy signs him off.
John McCain's presidential campaign just saw one of its Florida co-chairs, Bob Allen, arrested for offering to perform oral sex on a male undercover cop.
Like McCain needed more problems.
Republican State Rep. Allen, married with one child, in March co-sponsored the Lewdness and Indecent Exposure Bill, which would've enhanced Florida's prohibition on public sex. It didn't pass. Lucky for him.
Allen supported amending his state's constitution to forbid same-sex marriage, backed Florida's ban on gays adopting children, and opposed a measure protecting gay students from bullying. His is a stellar anti-gay record in Florida, one Anita Bryant could gush over.
According to the police report, cops on a burglary stakeout in Titusville noticed a man enter a park restroom three times. An officer went in, and was soon joined in a stall by Allen, who suggested they retire to a quieter area nearby. They agreed Allen would pay $20 to perform a sex act on the man. The legislator was arrested and charged with solicitation of prostitution.
The next day Allen announced his innocence. He plans to fight the charges and stay in office. This was just—as we hear so often--a "misunderstanding."
Reading the cop's account, it's hard to imagine a misunderstanding. Perhaps Allen, this potential flamer and potential flaming hypocrite, actually meant he wanted to try to fool the man—perform a snow job on him.
Monday, July 9, 2007
O'Reilly's Lesbian Hordes
Silly me. Here I had the idea that I'd heard every wild claim people could make about gays. I've got to stop selling people short.
On June 21 the Fox News Channel show, "The O'Reilly Factor," offered a segment called "Violent Lesbian Gangs a Growing Problem." Host Bill O'Reilly began the segment by painting a lurid picture of lesbian gangs in American cities busily attacking men and raping girls.
I am positive those instructions were not in my lesbian handbook.
O'Reilly then interviewed "Fox News Crime Analyst" Rod Wheeler live. Wheeler announced the existence of a "national underground network" of lesbian gangs that recruit children and commit crimes.
Wheeler claimed that "we've actually counted, just in the Washington, D.C. area alone, that's Washington D.C., Maryland, and Virginia, well over 150 of these crews."
That many lesbians in one area? It's the urban version of the Dinah Shore!
Wheeler said that recruited young girls have been forced to perform sexual acts. He stated these gangs stretch from New York to California. He also mentioned that some of these Sapphic bands carry pink 9-millimeter Glocks. "They call themselves the pink-pistol-packing group."
When I read that bit, I suspected Wheeler wasn't just a spotlight-addicted blowhard, but mixed up. The Pink Pistols is a national organization for lesbian and gay gun enthusiasts. Now that group seeks an on-air apology, because "people are confusing these imaginary, lesbian, gun-carrying gangs with our organization," said its spokesperson.
After this program ran, Bill O'Reilly's roughly 3 million viewers were left with the idea that bands of roving dykes, brandishing pink-painted weaponry, are on a nationwide, vicious, distinctly unladylike rampage.
In a terrific article called "The Oh-Really Factor," the Southern Poverty Law Center Intelligence Report dug into these sensational claims. Concerning that astounding number of 150 lesbian gangs in D.C., Maryland and Virginia, Detective Patrick Word, president of the Mid-Atlantic Regional Gang Investigators Network, said, "Our membership reports only one lesbian gang."
Sgt. Brett Parson is the former commander of the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department's Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit. "We have 150 to 175 total gangs in the D.C. area, and out of those only nine where the predominance of members are female," he said. "You simply can't make the jump that they are lesbians. I think it is fair to talk about violence and female gangs. But to sensationalize or marginalize a community by making a statement like that seems irresponsible."
It's not just irresponsible. It's nuttier than a cashew tree.
The amazing thing is that Bill O'Reilly himself is so clueless about gay people that this idea seemed credible to him. Of course, that's assuming he cares about journalistic niceties like accuracy. This may simply have been a publicity grab. Silly me, again.
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is plenty perturbed by the "inaccurate tabloid journalism." GLAAD wants O'Reilly and Wheeler to offer on-air corrections and a formal apology to the lesbian community.
Pressed by the Intelligence Report, Wheeler didn't provide a single source for his amazing D.C.-area figure. But he said he was correct. "This is a serious crisis and the so-called experts are missing it."
Somebody's missing something, all right.
At the segment's start, O'Reilly referred to a lesbian gang called Gays Taking Over raping girls in Tennessee, and a wild bunch called Dykes Taking Over terrorizing Philadelphians. The Intelligence Report argued the Tennessee example came from a "highly dubious" local TV report, and the Philly example was exaggerated to the point of stretch marks.
But O'Reilly still had a New York man attacked by seven lesbians. Except the women weren't gang members. And O'Reilly omitted that the guy swore, spat and flicked a cigarette at the women after one of them declined his sexual offer.
That's just the kind of journalist O'Reilly is. Can't let truth get in the way when you have a toothsome gays-as-predators opportunity!
On June 21 the Fox News Channel show, "The O'Reilly Factor," offered a segment called "Violent Lesbian Gangs a Growing Problem." Host Bill O'Reilly began the segment by painting a lurid picture of lesbian gangs in American cities busily attacking men and raping girls.
I am positive those instructions were not in my lesbian handbook.
O'Reilly then interviewed "Fox News Crime Analyst" Rod Wheeler live. Wheeler announced the existence of a "national underground network" of lesbian gangs that recruit children and commit crimes.
Wheeler claimed that "we've actually counted, just in the Washington, D.C. area alone, that's Washington D.C., Maryland, and Virginia, well over 150 of these crews."
That many lesbians in one area? It's the urban version of the Dinah Shore!
Wheeler said that recruited young girls have been forced to perform sexual acts. He stated these gangs stretch from New York to California. He also mentioned that some of these Sapphic bands carry pink 9-millimeter Glocks. "They call themselves the pink-pistol-packing group."
When I read that bit, I suspected Wheeler wasn't just a spotlight-addicted blowhard, but mixed up. The Pink Pistols is a national organization for lesbian and gay gun enthusiasts. Now that group seeks an on-air apology, because "people are confusing these imaginary, lesbian, gun-carrying gangs with our organization," said its spokesperson.
After this program ran, Bill O'Reilly's roughly 3 million viewers were left with the idea that bands of roving dykes, brandishing pink-painted weaponry, are on a nationwide, vicious, distinctly unladylike rampage.
In a terrific article called "The Oh-Really Factor," the Southern Poverty Law Center Intelligence Report dug into these sensational claims. Concerning that astounding number of 150 lesbian gangs in D.C., Maryland and Virginia, Detective Patrick Word, president of the Mid-Atlantic Regional Gang Investigators Network, said, "Our membership reports only one lesbian gang."
Sgt. Brett Parson is the former commander of the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department's Gay and Lesbian Liaison Unit. "We have 150 to 175 total gangs in the D.C. area, and out of those only nine where the predominance of members are female," he said. "You simply can't make the jump that they are lesbians. I think it is fair to talk about violence and female gangs. But to sensationalize or marginalize a community by making a statement like that seems irresponsible."
It's not just irresponsible. It's nuttier than a cashew tree.
The amazing thing is that Bill O'Reilly himself is so clueless about gay people that this idea seemed credible to him. Of course, that's assuming he cares about journalistic niceties like accuracy. This may simply have been a publicity grab. Silly me, again.
The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is plenty perturbed by the "inaccurate tabloid journalism." GLAAD wants O'Reilly and Wheeler to offer on-air corrections and a formal apology to the lesbian community.
Pressed by the Intelligence Report, Wheeler didn't provide a single source for his amazing D.C.-area figure. But he said he was correct. "This is a serious crisis and the so-called experts are missing it."
Somebody's missing something, all right.
At the segment's start, O'Reilly referred to a lesbian gang called Gays Taking Over raping girls in Tennessee, and a wild bunch called Dykes Taking Over terrorizing Philadelphians. The Intelligence Report argued the Tennessee example came from a "highly dubious" local TV report, and the Philly example was exaggerated to the point of stretch marks.
But O'Reilly still had a New York man attacked by seven lesbians. Except the women weren't gang members. And O'Reilly omitted that the guy swore, spat and flicked a cigarette at the women after one of them declined his sexual offer.
That's just the kind of journalist O'Reilly is. Can't let truth get in the way when you have a toothsome gays-as-predators opportunity!
Monday, July 2, 2007
The Not So Great Migration
Do you remember an organization called "Christian Exodus?"
Sounds like something Charlton Heston should lead, doesn't it? I can see him in a TV ad demanding, "Pharaoh, let my people have guns!"
Heston isn't connected with Christian Exodus. Not many people are connected with it. But it turns out this organization, which I hadn't heard anything about for more than a year, still plans to take over the state of South Carolina and, among other things, rid it of gay people.
That is a plan so grandiose it makes Moses look like an underachiever.
According to its Web site, Christian Exodus, founded in 2003, "seeks a return to constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles."
All together now: "Danger, Will Robinson!"
Christian Exodus believes local politics is the way to achieve this goal, so it's aiming to move thousands of Christian constitutionalists from around the country to one state and flood the ballot box.
The board of directors chose South Carolina because South Carolinians and Exodus's membership possess similar values, and the Palmetto State "possesses a rich history of standing up for her rights."
Presumably that's a salute to South Carolina for being the first to secede from the Union, and firing on those pesky Ft. Sumter Yankees.
The first phase of the plan, now underway, is to move 100 activists into a selected county. These 100 "pioneers," plus local Christians, will enable constitutionalists to capture the city council, county council, law enforcement positions and judgeships by 2009.
In Phase Two members do the same in another county, and so on until momentum puts the state legislature in their hands. By 2018 the federal government's "tyranny" is rejected, the state reclaims its "proper autonomy," and "God-honoring governance" returns to America.
Sign me up. For a boat to Singapore.
Finally, if the greedy, grabby U.S. government still insists on control over areas the 10th Amendment so transparently gives to the states, then South Carolina will secede. Again.
I kept Christian Exodus info from a couple of years ago, and it's clear these folks have adjusted their expected numbers a few times, suggesting they haven't found as many migratory lemmings as they'd hoped. Still, Columbia City Paper noted the group claims to have 1,400 members with almost 200 activists now treading the sacred South Carolina soil.
Christian Exodus knows that potential émigrés need employment, so the group woos employers. No matter how ferocious a person's longing to convert South Carolina into a theocracy, zealotry just doesn't pay the bills.
Disciples needn't worry about their leader on that score. Cory Burnell reported in the latest newsletter that he has begun a new job. Now his family will find a home in Anderson County, leaving unredeemable California behind.
What would South Carolina look like as Eden? Christian Exodus would ban abortion, divorce and pornography. Schools couldn't teach "the discredited theory of Darwinian evolution." And because Christian Exodus believes Americans are denied the right to be sufficiently armed to restrain tyranny, fully automatic weapons would grow on palmetto trees.
As to homosexuality, well, I think you can guess. Banned!
On its homepage, Christian Exodus decries that, "Sodomy is now legal and celebrated as 'diversity' by order of the U.S. Supreme Court rather than condemned as perversion."
Burnell told City Paper he would ignore Lawrence v. Texas--guilty as it is of violating the 10th Amendment--and instead observe the South Carolina law against "buggery," which Lawrence had overruled.
As if LGBT South Carolinians didn't have it tough already. Now they have to face cavemen on a mission from God to take over their state. Me, I'd like to see Jesus return now—and give those Christian Exodus carpetbaggers a piece of his mind.
Sounds like something Charlton Heston should lead, doesn't it? I can see him in a TV ad demanding, "Pharaoh, let my people have guns!"
Heston isn't connected with Christian Exodus. Not many people are connected with it. But it turns out this organization, which I hadn't heard anything about for more than a year, still plans to take over the state of South Carolina and, among other things, rid it of gay people.
That is a plan so grandiose it makes Moses look like an underachiever.
According to its Web site, Christian Exodus, founded in 2003, "seeks a return to constitutionally limited government founded upon Christian principles."
All together now: "Danger, Will Robinson!"
Christian Exodus believes local politics is the way to achieve this goal, so it's aiming to move thousands of Christian constitutionalists from around the country to one state and flood the ballot box.
The board of directors chose South Carolina because South Carolinians and Exodus's membership possess similar values, and the Palmetto State "possesses a rich history of standing up for her rights."
Presumably that's a salute to South Carolina for being the first to secede from the Union, and firing on those pesky Ft. Sumter Yankees.
The first phase of the plan, now underway, is to move 100 activists into a selected county. These 100 "pioneers," plus local Christians, will enable constitutionalists to capture the city council, county council, law enforcement positions and judgeships by 2009.
In Phase Two members do the same in another county, and so on until momentum puts the state legislature in their hands. By 2018 the federal government's "tyranny" is rejected, the state reclaims its "proper autonomy," and "God-honoring governance" returns to America.
Sign me up. For a boat to Singapore.
Finally, if the greedy, grabby U.S. government still insists on control over areas the 10th Amendment so transparently gives to the states, then South Carolina will secede. Again.
I kept Christian Exodus info from a couple of years ago, and it's clear these folks have adjusted their expected numbers a few times, suggesting they haven't found as many migratory lemmings as they'd hoped. Still, Columbia City Paper noted the group claims to have 1,400 members with almost 200 activists now treading the sacred South Carolina soil.
Christian Exodus knows that potential émigrés need employment, so the group woos employers. No matter how ferocious a person's longing to convert South Carolina into a theocracy, zealotry just doesn't pay the bills.
Disciples needn't worry about their leader on that score. Cory Burnell reported in the latest newsletter that he has begun a new job. Now his family will find a home in Anderson County, leaving unredeemable California behind.
What would South Carolina look like as Eden? Christian Exodus would ban abortion, divorce and pornography. Schools couldn't teach "the discredited theory of Darwinian evolution." And because Christian Exodus believes Americans are denied the right to be sufficiently armed to restrain tyranny, fully automatic weapons would grow on palmetto trees.
As to homosexuality, well, I think you can guess. Banned!
On its homepage, Christian Exodus decries that, "Sodomy is now legal and celebrated as 'diversity' by order of the U.S. Supreme Court rather than condemned as perversion."
Burnell told City Paper he would ignore Lawrence v. Texas--guilty as it is of violating the 10th Amendment--and instead observe the South Carolina law against "buggery," which Lawrence had overruled.
As if LGBT South Carolinians didn't have it tough already. Now they have to face cavemen on a mission from God to take over their state. Me, I'd like to see Jesus return now—and give those Christian Exodus carpetbaggers a piece of his mind.
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