Monday, January 31, 2011

Where No Gays Have Gone Before

Brannon Braga, who produced many of the episodes and feature films in the "Star Trek" universe, told AfterElton.com that the franchise's lack of gay characters was "a shame." His new show, "Terra Nova," so far also has no gay characters.

It doesn’t strike me as all that hard to include LGBT characters in televised science fiction. I'll take a shot at a scene right now:

INT. CROSSROADS BAR, PLANET OF NEW POUGHKEEPSIE– EVENING

CAPTAIN ISABEL RODRIGUEZ and FIRST ENGINEER SUE TREMAINE, wearing work jumpsuits, drink Saturn Slings.

TREMAINE
I'll never get over her.

RODRIGUEZ
That's what you said last time.

TREMAINE
I'm repetitive. Sue me.

RODRIGUEZ
What you are is addicted to the chase.

TREMAINE
If I wanted psychoanalysis I'd be drinking with the
counselor from Pluto with three feet.

RODRIGUEZ
Maybe you should take a break from women.

TREMAINE
Not in this lifetime. And if what the Oracle told
me is true, not in the next one either.

GOOSIE the barkeeper stops at their table.

GOOSIE
Another round, ladies?

RODRIGUEZ
No thanks, Goosie. We have to work tomorrow.

TREMAINE
Hey Goose, I can't tell if you're a guy or a girl today.

GOOSIE
Not too sure myself. Wait, it's Tuesday. Guy.

He moves to the next table.


TREMAINE
Hell of an interesting planet he comes from.

RODRIGUEZ
It's bedtime for me.

TREMAINE
The night is young! Look, the Orion Express
just unloaded. Visitors who'd love to be shown
around by our fair captain.

RODRIGUEZ
Stuff it.

TREMAINE
Izzy, you haven't been with a man or a woman
since the Leberwurstians invaded.

RODRIGUEZ
The tingling in my artificial nose says they'll
be back. I have to lead. Not love.

See? Adding LGBT characters opens a host of dramatic doors. Sci-fi creators need to beam us on board.