Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Mammary Madness

In Paul Gauguin's painting, "Two Tahitian Women," one woman is bare-breasted while the other has one breast exposed. That was three naked boobs too many for Susan Burns of Alexandria, Va., who attacked the painting at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C., on April Fool's Day.

The Washington Post reported Burns tried to pull the painting off the wall while screaming, "This is evil," and hit the plexiglass-protected masterpiece with her fist. The painting wasn't damaged.

It's valued at $80 million. Perhaps Burns assaults only the best.

She had this to say to an investigator: “I feel that Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. He has two women in the painting and it’s very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned. I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.”

It appears the sight of half-naked women switched on a madness already in place. Hence I'm resisting the impulse to make a crack about the cranial radio.

What's clear is Burns lumped together evil, nudity and lesbianism. That doesn't require madness—but it helps.