Tuesday, November 29, 2011

This Week's Quote

The left and the right live in parallel universes. The right listens to talk radio, the left's on the Internet and they just reinforce one another. They have no sense of reality. I have now one ambition: to retire before it becomes essential to tweet.

Barney Frank

Source:  Brainyquote.com

Monday, November 28, 2011

Bye Bye Barney

Rep. Barney Frank is calling it quits.  After 16 terms in office, the openly gay Massachusetts Democrat announced today that he's retiring in 2012.

"I was planning to run again and then the congressional redistricting came,” Frank, 71, said.  “I know my own capacity and energy levels and it would have been a mistake . . . I could not have put the requisite effort in.”


Congress loses a thinker and a wit.  We lose our fiercest representative.

The Washington Post reported Frank got in a barb at ex-House speaker Newt Gingrich, currently thriving in the GOP presidential race.

"I did not think I lived a good enough life to see Newt Gingrich as the Republican nominee," Frank said. "He would be the best thing to happen to Democrats since Barry Goldwater."

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Marriage Monument-um

If same-sex marriage isn't stopped, marrying national monuments will be all the rage.

Dibs on Mt. Rushmore.

In this brief video, Tamara Scott, Iowa director for Concerned Women for America and the co-chair of Michele Bachmann's Iowa campaign, says marriage equality will lead to polyamory and "objective sexualism," where people marry inanimate objects, and cites the case of a woman who considers herself married to the Eiffel Tower.

Imagine the size of the conjugal bed.

It's too easy to make fun of the way Scott pronounces "polyamory."  Instead I'd like to point out that the other figure in the video, Iowa antigay activist Bob Vander Plaats, is himself doing a good impression of an inanimate object.  Anybody feel a yearning to marry him?

This Week's Quote

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Johnny Carson

Source:  Allfamousquotes.net

Monday, November 21, 2011

Kiss and Sell

Diplomacy suddenly got a whole lot friendlier.  Leaders of nations and leaders of faiths, instead of shaking hands, are kissing each other on the lips.

Global warming, indeed.

All this intimacy is courtesy of Benetton, the Italian clothing company, whose new ad campaign features unlikely duos smooching.

In one image, President Obama kisses Chinese leader Hu Jintao.  In another, Obama busses Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

Needless to say, the pictures are fakes.  So it's no use wondering whether Obama considered the Chinese or the Venezuelan a better kisser.

The photos were expertly doctored.  The men have their eyes closed, their lips meet meaningfully and noses stay out of the way.

Above their heads is the word—if it is a word—"Unhate."  Clearly by pairing the leaders of countries that have tense relations, the ad sends a message about world peace.

Clearly by pairing heterosexual men, the ad sends a message that at Benetton they know, when it comes to shock value, it's hard to beat a gay twist.  This is their variation on "Gay is Good."

During past ad campaigns, Benetton earned a reputation for shocking.  Previous images included parents grieving over a man dying of AIDS, a priest and a nun kissing and a black woman breastfeeding a white baby.

In recent years, various Obama-haters have depicted him as a Muslim, a chimpanzee, a zombie and the devil.  That was to sell a philosophy, not Christmas bras.

It's unknown whether this queer depiction irritates Obama any more than the others did; the White House expressed displeasure on a different score.  Deputy press secretary Eric Schultz said in a statement, "The White House has a long-standing policy disapproving of the use of the president's name and likeness for commercial purposes."

Presidents who died long ago, however, are available to sell cars in February.

Obama, Hu and Chavez aren't the only ones to get the Benetton treatment.  In a momentary display of heterosexuality, French President Nicolas Sarkozy kisses German Chancellor Angela Merkel.  Israel's Benjamin Netanyahu plants one on Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas.

In the image that has created the biggest uproar so far, Pope Benedict XVI locks lips with Egyptian imam Mohammed Ahmed al-Tayeb.  The two haven't been on the best of terms all year, but to see this "Unhate" ad is to assume one of them said, "Let's kiss and make up."

The Guardian reported that after posters of this image went up around Italy, the Vatican responded unusually quickly, condemning such provocative advertising, and promising legal action to stop the use of a photo "in which the Holy Father appears in a way considered to be harmful, not only to the dignity of the pope and the Catholic church, but also to the sensibility of believers."

Who don't want to see their pit bull of homophobia kissing another fella.

Benetton immediately withdrew the image from everywhere.  "We reiterate that the meaning of this campaign is exclusively to combat the culture of hatred in all its forms," said the company.  "We are therefore sorry that the use of the image of the pope and the imam has so offended the sentiments of the faithful."

Naturally they're sorry.  So, so sorry.  So, so, so, terribly down-to-their-socks sorry.  It never occurred to them that giant posters of the pope smooching a man might offend their fellow Italian Catholics.  They're surprised that the Vatican raised a stink.  It never dawned on them that the uproar would generate free worldwide publicity.

And Julius Caesar founded Versace, and Sophia Loren is in line to be the next pope.

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Day for Remembering

Sunday is the 13th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance.  On that day people from Melbourne to Helsinki to Detroit will gather to memorialize those killed due to anti-transgender prejudice.

You don't have to attend a gathering to honor the lives lost.  Light a candle, say a prayer, drink a toast.  Do all three, if you're feeling spiritual and thirsty.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Guest Post: Revival of the Horse's Patoot Salute!

By Pat Griffin

I haven’t awarded a Horse’s Patoot Salute in a while, but I have a new winner for you. The Horse’s Patoot Salute is my personal award for coaches, athletic administrators, physical education teachers and athletes who demonstrate stunning levels of intentional or unintentional homophobia, sexism and transphobia such that it can only by explained by arrogance, stupidity or some combination of the two.

Drum roll, please….The Horse’s Patoot Salute goes to Pat Lynch, (former) football coach at Buffalo High School in Wyoming.

Ex-coach Lynch earned his way into the Horse’s Patoot Salute Hall of Fame for creating and distributing a “Hurt Feelings Report” to his team before a playoff game recently.

Apparently ex-coach Lynch believes that his athletes should not have hurt feelings because it is not manly. The sarcastically worded “survey” lists several reasons for his athletes to check off as reasons for filing the report of hurt feelings. Among the reasons he included on the survey are:

I am a pussy.
I have woman-like hormones
I am a queer
I am a little bitch
I am a crybaby
I want my mommy

The survey then asks for the “little sissy” filing the report to sign his name and asks for the name of the “real man” who “hurt your sensitive little feelings.”

After Lynch’s survey became public and the school received complaints, Lynch resigned his coaching position, one he had for 13 years, and apologized to the school board. Unfortunately, the superintendent excused the coach’s actions by saying that he “just made a mistake and meant no harm.”

The final irony though is that ex-coach Lynch will remain in his position as a guidance counselor. Really? He’s a guidance counselor? You can’t make this stuff up.

Congratulations, Mr. Lynch, on your Horse’s Patoot Salute.

Pat Griffin is the author of "Strong Women, Deep Closets:  Lesbians and Homophobia in Sport."  She comments on LGBT issues in sports at http://ittakesateam.blogspot.com, where this post first appeared.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

This Week's Quote

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions.  Finally one lady friend asked the right question.  "Well, what do you love the most?"  That's how I started painting money.

Andy Warhol

Source:  The Quotable Intellectual

The Evergreen State Goes For It

Here in the state of Washington, we do not have gay marriage.  We have domestic partnerships, which provide all the rights of marriage.  But you and I know that's not good enough, and now comes word that the push is on.

Drama, thy name will be Washington.

Yesterday, Washingtonians were introduced to Washington United for Marriage, a coalition of civil-rights, labor and religious groups, formed to press for the whole marriage enchilada.  In the legislature, Democrats will introduce marriage legislation.  They say they have the votes in the state House, but in the state Senate?  Not so much.

Coalition leaders told The Seattle Times "their strategy will include a simple appeal for all gay and lesbian couples and their supporters to share their personal stories about what marriage equality would mean to them."

Ooh, ooh—I'm raising my hand—I can do that!

To get those stories out, the coalition will hold town halls all over the state.  "That is going to create the conversation we need ... so we can win in the Legislature," said one of the organizers.

This push for real marriage is what anti-gay forces feared and predicted with each step toward domestic partnership.  If they view gay marriage as the final battle, things are going to get mighty testy in the Evergreen State.

Will Washington become the seventh state to legalize same-sex marriage?  Place your bets.  Better yet, tell your stories.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Penguin Passion

I mentioned the tragic story of Buddy and Pedro last week (see below).  The Toronto Zoo plans to rip the gay penguin couple apart so the tuxedoed gentlemen can mate with female penguins.  African penguins are endangered, so apparently it's all penguins on deck, even the homos.

Now comes the news that the boys will be reunited in the spring.  I don't know if zoo officials always intended that or they bowed to international pressure.  But come spring, Buddy and Pedro will return to their life together.  Man, will they have a lot to talk about.

Heartfelt Sentiment

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Question of the Week

If a flock of crows is a murder and a flock of geese is a gaggle, what is a flock of gays?

Flying Through the News

Prepare yourself for a whirlwind tour through recent news.  Buckle up, Dorothy.

"Tuesday was a very good day for openly LGBT candidates around the country, with three out of four of the more than 60 candidates winning," wrote journalist Lisa Keen.  Ah, the sweet smell of lavender success.

Of particular interest, Annise Parker was returned as mayor of Houston, LaWana Mayfield became the first openly LGBT member of the Charlotte City Council and Daniel Hernandez, the guy credited with saving Rep. Gabby Giffords' life, took a Tucson school board seat.

Click here to read Keen's story and indulge in further reveling.

In marriage news, the election of Liz Mathis to the Iowa State Senate means Democrats retain their majority, which means marriage rights are safe.  In Maine, folks wanting to legalize gay marriage gathered enough signatures to qualify for the 2012 ballot.  From Oregon, however, we hear that activists won't put the state's ban on gay marriage up for a vote.

Got all that?  Lucky for you, there's no test.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appointed Ellen DeGeneres a special envoy for global AIDS awareness.  Perhaps Ellen will start her show dressed as a giant dancing condom.

The Toronto Zoo intends to separate gay penguins Buddy and Pedro.  Both belong to an endangered species, so zookeepers will try to get them to mate with female penguins in order to increase the population.  Gay people are up in arms; gay penguins are up in flippers.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Parker on Perry

Openly lesbian Annise Parker, who yesterday won reelection as Houston's mayor, believes Texas governor Rick Perry has veered rightward since becoming a presidential candidate.

Parker deadpanned, “I would certainly hope that the rest of the country will send our governor back home so we can continue to enjoy him.”

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

This Week's Quote

Some people are born lesbians, some achieve lesbianism, and some have lesbianism thrust upon them.

Helen Eisenbach

Source:  Lesbianism Made Easy

Monday, November 7, 2011

Enquiring About Chaz

The National Enquirer claims in a Nov. 14 cover story that Chaz Bono will die within four years due to his gender transition.  The corpse-to-be is perturbed.  His lawyer sent a cease and desist letter to the tabloid, accusing it of defamation and demanding a printed retraction and apology.

According to the lawyer, the story asserts that "obesity, testosterone supplements, and high suicide rates among transgender people all increase Chaz's risk of an early death."

As everybody this side of Carol Burnett knows, the National Enquirer doesn't let truth get in the way of a fabulicious story.  So, despite Bono's threat to sue if the tabloid doesn't apologize, I wouldn't be surprised if the Enquirer instead continued to hound him by producing another cover story similar to the following.

            Chaz Bono:  TRYING TO CONTACT SONNY!  Weekly Séances

Chaz Bono misses his daddy—and how!

The ENQUIRER has learned that Chaz, the transgender activist and recent "Dancing With the Stars" contestant, hosts séances in his home every Sunday night in a sad, touching attempt to contact his father Sonny Bono, the singer and politician who died tragically in 1998 when he slammed into a tree while skiing.

"The séances are weird, man.  I go for the food," said one insider who has attended three of these macabre gatherings where some 15 people assemble around a spooky table.

"We all hold hands while Madame Mertzola chants and groans and moans and stuff.  I think she's getting sort of frustrated.  The last time she kept screaming 'The beat goes on!'"

So far, said the insider, Sonny has not materialized, "although a couple of people thought they saw that tree he hit."

Headstrong Chaz refuses to stop these whacky attempts to reach Sonny.  The sad, distressing reason is he desperately wants to speak to his father about masculinity!  "Y'know, now that Chaz is a dude and all, he wants guidance and stuff," said the insider.

Dr. Scott Pitts, distinguished owner of a framed diploma from the Acme School of Transgender Mental Health, let The ENQUIRER in on a shocking fact:  Transgender individuals are often drawn to the occult!

"I know one who owns a magic store.  That's good enough for me," said the esteemed expert.

Cher, the mother of Chaz and ex-wife of Sonny, is baffled that Chaz wants advice on masculinity from his father.  "Why Sonny?  Most of the time I wore the bell bottoms in that relationship," Cher told an insider, who told The ENQUIRER, which is telling you.

Oh, and remember how Cher sadly, desperately, had two ribs surgically removed to make her waist smaller?  The ENQUIRER has learned that she plans to put them back in again!  Inspired by Chaz's efforts to be who he really is, Cher has bravely decided to return her rib cage to normal.

Meanwhile, all indications are the Sunday-night séances will carry on.  The insider who attended three of the sad, heartbreaking events said Chaz has booked Madame Mertzola the medium through the end of the year.

"I'm not sure I'm going again," the insider said.  Chaz wants to change up the energy in the room, in case, y'know, any of us are keeping Sonny away.  That's cool with me.  Last time when the lights went off I got groped."

The insider hopes Sonny appears, either in body or spirit.  "Chaz is cool.  He wants this bad.  He deserves it.  Can I have my check now?"

Friday, November 4, 2011

Farewell Frank

It appears Frank Kameny received an appropriate send-off.  One of the giants of the gay rights movement, Kameny died on Oct. 11 at 86, and yesterday he was honored with a farewell viewing held at the Carnegie Library in Washington, D.C.

Protest signs flanked his flag-draped casket.  Fitting for a man who picketed the White House for gay rights when Stonewall was just a twinkle in a drag queen's eye.

Two days ago the National Parks Service added Kameny's home in D.C. to its Register of Historic Places.  To think the federal government fired him in 1957 for being gay.  Not a soul could've predicted how far Kameny and the country would come since then.  Peggy Lee as secretary of defense might've seemed more likely.

To see pictures from yesterday's farewell, click here.

I Will Survive?

Haven't seen this strutting alien in years.  Still love him.  Or her.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Question of the Week

Does the Occupy movement make you glad or fretful?

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"Could It Be . . . SATAN?"

Don't let this sentence scare you off:  Daniel Avila is the policy advisor for marriage and family to the US Conference of Catholic Bishops' Subcommittee for the Promotion and Defense of Marriage.

Still with me?

Avila, you see, is the go-to guy on marriage for the Catholic Bishops.  In his zeal to protect marriage from homosexuals, Avila offered a riveting biological theory on why people are gay:  It's the devil's doing.

Writing in The Pilot, the official newspaper of the Archdiocese of Boston, Avila pointed to a scientist's suggestion that fluctuating maternal hormones cause gayness.  What prompts the fluctuations?  Fun-loving Beelzebub.

"Therefore, whenever natural causes disturb otherwise typical biological development, leading to the personally unchosen beginnings of same-sex attraction, the ultimate responsibility, on a theological level, is and should be imputed to the evil one, not God."

Satan visits wombs and mucks about with fetuses.  This means every gay person is entitled to say, "The devil made me do it."

Avila wrote, "In other words, the scientific evidence of how same-sex attraction most likely may be created provides a credible basis for a spiritual explanation that indicts the devil. Any time natural disasters occur, we as people of faith look back to Scripture's account of those angels who rebelled and fell from grace. In their anger against God, these malcontents prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. They continue to do all they can to mar, distort and destroy God's handiwork."

Sooooo, gays are "natural disasters," the destroyed handiwork of God and the ire incarnate of huffy fallen angels.

I read all this on Right Wing Watch, which provided a link to Avila's column.  Naturally I wanted to read the whole piece, but in its place now is an editor's note, saying that The Pilot apologizes "for having failed to recognize the theological error in the column before publication."

In a "Retraction/Apology," Avila wrote, "The teaching of Sacred Scripture and of the Catechism of the Catholic Church make it clear that all persons are created in the image and likeness of God and have inviolable dignity. . . The Church opposes, as I do too, all unjust discrimination and the violence against persons that unjust discrimination inspires. I deeply apologize for the hurt and confusion that this column has caused."

He learned the hard way that when it comes to establishing the cause of gayness, the devil is in the details.


Nicely done, NYC Pride.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

No First Anniversary

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian is divorcing basketball player Kris Humphries, her husband of 72 days.

Marriage is too important to be left to straight people.

This Week's Quote

There is a ''sanctity'' involved with bringing a child into this world: it is better than bombing one out of it.

James Baldwin

Source:  Proverbia.net