Friday, June 28, 2013

Emotional Day

As this monumental week closes, I'm thinking of two mornings ago, when Anne and I awoke and she immediately searched out her phone to see what the Supreme Court had decided on DOMA and Prop 8.  It was 7:00 a.m. here in Seattle, which meant the news had just been announced in the East.

My stomach churned.  She raced to her email.  She scanned the first report from The New York Times--and misread it.  For the next 10 minutes we were convinced the Supreme Court had done us dirty.  Anne bawled in the shower, while I silently resolved to keep fighting.  When she got out of the shower she looked at her phone again and discovered we'd actually won.

Oops.  And, YAY!

It was only 7:15 and we'd already done despondence, shock and elation.  All without benefit of breakfast.

My emotional high peaked when we attended the afternoon rally downtown.  How wonderful to be with jubilant folk.  But at intervals during the day I felt weighed down, owing to the Supreme Court's wrong-headed decision on the Voting Rights Act the previous day.  I realized what I felt:  survivor's guilt.

Nor was all rosy at the rally.  It turned out that while one of the speakers exulted with the crowd, her car was being broken into several blocks away.  On this historic day, I wasn't the only one who careened between delight and despair.