Wednesday, December 31, 2014

An Unacceptable Hate Crime

Sean White and Mathew Peters recently received something less than a Christmas present, namely the word "faggots" carved into their apartment door in Denver.

Here's what they posted on the door in response:

"To the individual who scrawled the word “faggots” into our door:  We regret to inform you that you completely failed to use glitter paint and/or sequins, your work looked rushed, and your handwriting was positively atrocious.  It is for these reasons that we have removed your work from our door with sandpaper.  Fabulously yours, the gays in apt. 611."

That'll teach 'em to mess with Apt. 611.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

It Made Me Blanche

The folks at LGBT television channel LOGO sent out an email this morning to announce their Christmas Eve programming.   Tonight they're dreaming of a white Christmas, they teased--and that turned out to mean a Betty White Christmas, in the form of a "Golden Girls" marathon.

I want it to Bea known that I Rue the day I'd stoop to such punnery.

Friday, December 19, 2014

The 12 Gays of Christmas

Here comes Christmas, which means it's time for my favorite seasonal video.  Go you Mockettes!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

This Week's Quote

Musicals have clearly gotten more physical.  You never saw Ethel Merman doing step aerobics.

Bruce Vilanch


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Pickups No, Subarus Yes

I work in a small, all-female office.  There were three of us in this morning, all gay.  The boss, Ann, asked Leah and me if we have have access to a truck, because she needs to move some furniture.  I said no.  Leah said no.

"What kind of lesbians are we?" I asked aloud.

"The Outback-driving kind," Leah responded.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

This Week's Quote

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.

Suze Orman


Thursday, December 4, 2014

What I Wouldn't Give for Jacob Marley's Ghost

Pastor Steven Anderson went giddily viral this week.  Preaching on the eve of World AIDS Day, the leader of Tempe's Faithful Word Baptist Church declared that gays are "filled with disease because of the judgement of God."

Anderson sermonized that "if you executed the homos like God recommends, you wouldn't have all this AIDS running rampant."  With this Leviticus-inspired "cure," said Anderson, "we can have an AIDS-free world by Christmas."

It's that time of year when THEY come out.  You know, the ones whose hearts are two sizes too small.

Enter an organization called Planting Peace, which has experience with Grinches, having created the rainbow-colored Equality House across from Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church.  Planting Peace intends to raise money to help people with HIV/AIDS.  For every donation, Planting Peace will send a lump of coal to Anderson.

All the coal will be delivered to his Arizona church on Christmas Eve.  Ah yes, Christmas Eve, when Ebenezer Scrooge's tale takes place.  Ebenezer Scrooge, the Grinch, Steven Anderson.  They're the miserable Christmas trinity.

The first two, however, were redeemed.  Since it's making him famous, I don't see Anderson parting with his vitriol.  At least, not until he gets a heavenly visitor or is outed.  Either will do.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

This Week's Quote

My mother made me a homosexual.  And if you give her some yarn, she'll make you one too.

Quentin Crisp

Source:  The Mammoth Book of Great British Humor

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

This Week's Quote

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Johnny Carson


Friday, November 21, 2014

Out and Out Change

Country singer Ty Herndon came out of the closet yesterday.  Then so did country singer Billy Gilman.

By country standards, that qualifies as a stampede.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Cuteness For Hire

Same-sex couples are marrying up a storm in Montana today, and this youngster smells a business opportunity.  My guess is he'll carry your rings--and improve the sartorial flavor of your wedding with those snazzy rainbow suspenders--for the price of a juice box.  I spotted the adorable kiddo on the Facebook page for Fair is Fair Montana.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

This Week's Quote

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes–and six months later you have to start all over again.

Joan Rivers


Friday, November 14, 2014

Did Da Vinci Know?

When I turned on the radio, Lou Rawls was singing, "Well, if I don't love you baby, grits ain't groceries, eggs ain't poultry, and Mona Lisa was a man."

Hmm.  Lou might've put his finger on the reason for Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile . . .

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

This Week's Quote

LEO:  I remember a friend of mine called Mrs. Purdy being very upset once when her house in Dorset fell into the sea.
GRACE:  How terrible!
LEO:  Fortunately Mr. Purdy happened to be in it at the time.

Noel Coward

Source:  Design for Living

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Flavor of the Month

James Manning, mightily homophobic pastor at the Harlem ATLAH Missionary Church, recently declared that Starbucks has been flavoring lattes with "sodomites' semen."

I prefer vanilla.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Crummy Decision

And now for something completely different . . . or at least something we haven't seen in a while.

The Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals today declared that marriage bans in Michigan, Kentucky, Ohio and Tennessee are legal.  It's the first time since the Supreme Court's Windsor decision that a federal appeals court has upheld a voter-approved ban on gay marriage.

The judges decided 2-1.  Judge Martha Craig Daughtrey was peeved with her two compadres.

She finished her dissent with this:  "If we in the judiciary do not have the authority, and indeed the responsibility, to right fundamental wrongs left excused by a majority of the electorate, our whole intricate, constitutional system of checks and balances, as well as the oaths to which we swore, prove to be nothing but shams."

Wow.  If a food fight breaks out in the Sixth Circuit lunchroom tomorrow, I won't be surprised.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

This Week's Quote

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Mark Twain


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Occupying the Pinnacles of Geekdom

The CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, and President Obama's Tech Czar, Megan Smith, are both openly gay people.  The secret is out.  While we were letting the world believe all gay men are hairdressers and all lesbians are tennis players, we were silently climbing to the highest rungs of the technology ladder.

Now world domination is at hand.  We'll control your iPhone AND your highlights.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This Week's Quote

America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. 
Everywhere else is Cleveland.

Tennessee Williams


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

I'll Adjust, Eventually

Sean Hayes is engaged to marry his longtime boyfriend, Scott Icenogle.

Is this allowed?

I'm not asking whether it's legal--of course it is.  But Hayes played Jack McFarland so indelibly on "Will and Grace" it seems wrong that he's not marrying Will.  Or Karen.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Pigskin Chronicles

I've been watching Michael Sam's progress with great interest since he came out publicly after finishing his college football career at the University of Missouri.  When the St. Louis Rams chose the defensive end, Sam became the first openly gay player drafted by an NFL team.  But the Rams waived Sam in the final round of cuts.  Then the Dallas Cowboys picked him up for their practice squad.  Two days ago the Cowboys released him.

For Michael Sam, it's third down.  For me, I'm running out of football idioms.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

This Week's Quote

We had gay burglars the other night.  They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Robin Williams


Monday, October 20, 2014

Mystery at the Vatican

A week ago the Roman Catholic Church shocked the world by calling for homosexuals to be welcomed into the church.  Two days ago the Roman Catholic Church took it back.

The interim report from the two-week conference of bishops raised a lot of hopes among LGBT Catholics with its accepting tone.  But the final report revealed that the conservative bishops aren't ready to let Pope Francis have his way on this issue.

The most interesting bit to me was the fact that the first version of the report spoke of gays having "gifts and qualities," but those words were dropped from the final version.  How could we lose our positive attributes in less than a week?  Who took them?

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

This Week's Quote

Do not allow your children to mix drinks.  It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

Fran Lebowitz

Source:  Social Studies

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Hold On To Your Habit, Martha!

Take a gander at this shocking news out of Vatican City yesterday:
"Catholic bishops signaled a radical shift in tone Monday about accepting gays into the church, saying they had gifts to offer and that their partnerships, while morally problematic, provided homosexual couples with 'precious' support.
"In a preliminary report, released half-way through a Vatican meeting on family life called by Pope Francis, the bishops also said the church must welcome divorcees and recognize the 'positive' aspects of civil marriages and even Catholics who cohabitate, as well as the children of these less traditional families.
"While it does not change church doctrine, the tone of the report on a host of hot-button family issues such as marriage, divorce, homosexuality and birth control was one of almost-revolutionary acceptance and understanding rather than condemnation."
Praise the Lord and pass the smelling salts.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

This Week's Quote

If a couple of gay guys want to throw the gayest, most fabulous wedding of all time, the only way it should offend you is if you weren’t invited.

Orlando Winters


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

When the Court Decides Not to Decide

A shocker.  A turning point.  A watershed.  That's how experts described yesterday's decision by the U.S. Supreme Court not to review same-sex marriage cases, thus allowing same-sex marriage to proceed in Virginia, Utah, Oklahoma, Indiana and Wisconsin.  

The court's decision not to act on suits from three appellate circuits will also lead to gay marriage in Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, West Virginia, North Carolina and South Carolina.

When I don't get around to something, nothing gets done.  When the Supreme Court declines to do something, marriage breaks out from Richmond to Salt Lake.  There's something vaguely unfair about this, but I'm not complaining.

Friday, October 3, 2014


In this video, gay male staffers at Buzzfeed attempt to explain how feminine hygiene products work.  Some undeniably funny moments.  But would straight guys do any better?

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

I recently received a press release alerting me that Valentine's Day is also National Condom Day.  Does that mean that Thanksgiving is also National Turkey Baster Day?

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

This Week's Quote

After all these years our father has never understood that we, his children, tend to gravitate toward the very people he's spent his life warning us about.

David Sedaris

Source:  Me Talk Pretty One Day

Friday, September 26, 2014

At This Stage of the Game(s)

They don't want to go through that again.

The International Olympic Committee has served notice that future host cities must abide by rules forbidding discrimination.  This is due to the global uproar caused by Russia's passing of an anti-gay law during the run-up to the 2014 Sochi Winter Games.

With this move aimed at quelling future controversy, IOC members can breathe easier.  Lesbian lugers and bisexual biathletes have to be feeling pretty good, too.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

This Week's Quote

To speak frankly, I am not in favor of long engagements.  They give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which I think is never advisable.

Oscar Wilde

Source:  The Importance of Being Earnest

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Day--and Night--at the Theater

On Sunday Anne and I did a marathon.  Not the running kind--don't be silly.  We went to see both parts of Tony Kushner's "Angels in America."  The epic about AIDS in the age of Reagan first ran here in Seattle 20 years ago, so this was an anniversary production.

Oh, the differences between 1994 and 2014.  For a start, back then we audience members wouldn't have been checking our cell phones at every intermission.

In the play's New York City of the mid-'80s, homosexuality is still a sin.  Now in New York gays can legally marry--each other!  Kushner's closeted Mormon, Joe Pitt, tries with every fiber of his being not to be gay.  Now there are Mormons marching in Pride parades.  Back then an AIDS diagnosis is a death sentence.  Now, at least if you're American, it isn't.

I don't want to overstate the changes.  AIDS is still with us, rampaging parts of the world.  But the pace of LGBT political and social progress has really been breathtaking.  Then "Angels in America."  Now, in significant measure, we've seen the better angels of America's nature.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

This Week's Quote

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

Tallulah Bankhead

Source:  And I Quote

Monday, September 15, 2014

Sweet Support

The ice cream behemoth Ben & Jerry's has signed onto an amicus brief to the U.S. Supreme Court supporting same-sex marriage.

The company believes everyone should have the right to a Chubby Hubby.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

This Week's Quote

Boy George is all England needs--another queen who can't dress.

Joan Rivers

Source:  The Seattle Times

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

More Homo Humor

In May I stepped away from General Gayety, and I've been pining ever since.  So I'm back.  In a limited way, mind you, as my time is still very tight.  But I just can't keep away from the happy intersection of LGBT matters and humor.  Onward.

Friday, September 5, 2014

21 and Done

Earlier this week U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman upheld Louisiana's ban on same-sex marriage.  Until Feldman's ruling, 21 federal court decisions in a row had gone our way.  That's a wining streak Michael Phelps would envy.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

GG Goes Into Stasis

Despite my fervent wishes, nobody has yet invented a way to pack more hours into the day.  So I've made a difficult decision.  I'm putting General Gayety on hiatus so that I can devote more time to a book I'm trying to write.  In trying to produce both the blog and the book I've wound up giving each short shrift.  It's time to focus on one endeavor, and, well, we'll see what happens.

It'll be a serious challenge for me to stay away from the blog whenever a fundie or a pol blurts a particularly crackpot homophobic declaration.  A girl can only stand so much temptation.

But I must be disciplined.  Time to stick with one task.  If I pull it off, I expect, at this point, to bring General Gayety back.  So check in on the blog now and then, and thank you for the time you've spent with me.  I'll miss you.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

The Wrap-Up

Quick, before it all goes out of your head.  Pick the correct answer for each question about last week’s LGBT news.

1. Which pro sports league’s new marketing campaign makes it the first to target the LGBT community specifically?
a. The National Football League.
b. The National Hockey League.
c. The Women’s National Basketball Association.
d. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

2. Church leaders in the Balkans said recent flooding that left over 50 people dead is punishment for:
a. the war crimes committed during the Croatian War of Independence.
b. the war crimes committed during the Bosnian War.
c. Austrian drag performer Conchita Wurst’s win in the Eurovision song contest.
d. the war crimes committed during the Kosovo War.

3. Last week federal judges threw out same-sex marriage bans in the states of:
a. Arkansas and Utah.
b. North Dakota and South Dakota.
c. Oregon and Pennsylvania.
d. Moosylvania and Bikini Bottom.

4. In a White House ceremony, the U.S. Postal Service dedicated a stamp to which LGBT hero?
a. Walt Whitman.
b. Sally Ride.
c. Harvey Milk.
d. Robert Mapplethorpe.

5. The antigay National Organization for Marriage (NOM) failed to disclose the names of major donors during the 2009 campaign to repeal Maine’s marriage equality law.  Commissioners in Maine recommended which penalty?
a. NOM be banned from the state.
b. NOM co-founder Maggie Gallagher serve a week in jail.
c. A $50,250 fine.
d. NOM president Brian Brown be required to marry RuPaul.

6. In the world of TV, this first:  gay male main characters on a prime-time network show got married.  The newlyweds of “Modern Family” are named:
a. Will and Jack.
b. Ricky and Fred.
c. Mitch and Cam.
d. Bert and Ernie.

The answer for every question is “c.”  If you chose “d” several times, you have an interesting mind.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Standing Strong

I recently received a press release with this subject line:  "Gay Men Are Less Likely to Have ED Than Straight Men."

If word of this gets out among gay men they won't be fit to live with.

Monday, May 19, 2014

And Another One

Today U.S. District Court Judge Michael McShane ruled that Oregon's constitutional ban on same-sex marriage violates the U.S. Constitution.

We've had such a run of court victories I've lost track of the number.   What do you think our staunchest opponents, religious true believers, are thinking these days?  Perhaps that God has turned his back on them.  Or at least is playing hard to get.

Friday, May 16, 2014

Still Potent

Anne and I live in Seattle.  Last night we attended the wedding of two friends of ours, Ronna and Cathy, in Bellingham, about 90 minutes north of here.  Gay couples have been able to marry in Washington since December of 2012, but when the officiant mentioned the power vested in her by the state of Washington, the crowd erupted into applause.

The thrill is not gone.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

This Week's Quote

I spent my teen years trying to rationalize, "All right, fine, I may be attracted to women, but I can't be a lesbian.  I like Laura Ashley polished cottons, and I throw like a girl.  I cry for no apparent reason.  Oh my God, I'm a gay man!"

Vickie Shaw


Friday, May 9, 2014

All the News That's Fit to Guess

Have you been paying attention?  Time to find out!  Circle the correct answer to the questions below about recent events in the LGBT news.  No cheating.

1. Bishop Gene Robinson, the first openly gay Episcopal bishop and an international gay-rights lightning rod, just announced:
a. He’s hosting a show on MSNBC.
b. He’s converting to Judaism.
c. He’s getting divorced.
d. He’s leasing a popemobile from the Vatican.

2. The world’s largest gay Pride parade was held in this Latin American locale:
a. Mexico City
b. Buenos Aires
c. Sao Paulo
d. the Falkland Islands

3. Steve Wiles, a conservative North Carolina state Senate candidate who opposes same-sex marriage, lost in the primary, perhaps because it had come to light that he:
a. likes Democrats
b. hates barbecue
c. used to perform in a gay club as a drag queen called Miss Mona Sinclair
d. has a dog named Ulysses S. Grant

4. Washington’s governor appointed Mary Yu to the state Supreme Court, making her the first what on the state’s highest court?
a. the first vegetarian
b. the first Yankees fan
c. the first openly gay justice, the first Asian American justice and the first Latina justice
d. the first Pisces

5. Prominent African LGBT activist John Abdallah Wambere will seek asylum in the U.S., owing to his country’s draconian anti-homosexuality law.  Which country passed that awful law?
a. Ethiopia
b. Senegal
c. Uganda
c. Babar’s Kingdom

6. Chris Sevier filed a motion to intervene in a Florida gay marriage case, arguing that he too should have the right to marry his “preferred sexual object,” namely:
a. a 1971 VW bus
b. a manatee
c. his “porn filled Apple computer”
d. Epcot Center

The answer to every question is “c.”  I feel generous, so I’m going to assume you knew that.