Wednesday, December 30, 2015

This Week's Quote

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.

W.H. Auden

Source:  The Telegraph

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

This Week's Quote

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

Joan Rivers

Source:  Huffington Post

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

This Week's Quote

That word "lesbian" sounds like a disease. And straight men know because they're sure that they're the cure.
Denise McCanles

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

This Week's Quote

My third grade teacher called my mother and said, "Ms. Cox, your son is going to end up in New Orleans in a dress if we don't get him into therapy." And wouldn't you know, just last week I spoke at Tulane University, and I wore a lovely green and black dress.

Laverne Cox


Thursday, December 3, 2015

"Scene-ior Citizens" Brave "Brokeback"

Now this is . . . different.  Very enthusiastic and very gay Matthew Hoffman recreates famous movie scenes, putting senior citizens in the starring roles. The income derived from views of these videos goes to senior programs, so watch as "Brokeback Mountain" comes back to life.  Sort of.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

This Week's Quote

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."

Shelly Roberts


Wednesday, November 25, 2015

This Week's Quote

The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it's gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes four hours to clean it up.

Ted Allen


Monday, November 23, 2015

A Hive of Activity

In recent weeks a lot of LGBT news has come out of Utah.  No, really.  Take this little quiz to see if you're up to speed on Beehive State doings.

1.  Judge Scott Johansen ordered a married lesbian couple to give up their eight-month-old foster child. The reason he gave, one of the women said, was . . .

a.  . . . he felt like it.
b.  . . . Jesus told him to.
c.  . . . in the research he's read children don't do well in homosexual homes.
d.  . . . in the research he's read children come from grapefruit seeds.

2.  After his ruling created a firestorm and even the Republican governor criticized him, Judge Johansen reversed his decision and took himself . . .

a.  . . . off to the library.
b.  . . . off to Wendy's.
c. . . . off the case.
d. . . . off to Borneo.

3.  The Mormon church decreed that married same-sex couples are apostates, and their children may not be baptized until they're 18.  In angry response, about 1,500 people did what in front of the temple in Salt Lake City?

a.  Mooned it.
b.  Staged a sit-in.
c.  Participated in a mass resignation.
d.  Performed "Spooky Mormon Hell Dream" from "The Book of Mormon."

4.  Salt Lake City elected a new mayor, Jackie Biskupsi.  She is the city's first mayor to be  . . .

a.  . . . blonde.
b.  . . . tall.
c.  . . . openly gay.
d.  . . . half Vulcan.

The answer to each question is "c."  Come back next week when we'll have a quiz on all the gay news out of Liechtenstein.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

This Week's Quote

I was a little concerned about how my parents might be handling what was essentially a fairly massive double gay whammy.  Two kids.  Two queers. What the fuck did we do wrong kind of a thing.  In my mind's eye I saw Betty and Terry barreling out of their retirement bungalow, filling their pockets with rocks and walking into the oily waters of Belfast Lough.

Simon Doonan

Source:  Gay Men Don't Get Fat

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

This Week's Quote

I don't really like being with people my own age for long periods, because all we talk about is our decrepitude, how the world is changing for the worse even though it isn't.

Ian McKellen


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

This Week's Quote

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

Bernard Manning


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

This Week's Quote

What this country needs is more unemployed politicians.

Angela Davis


Wednesday, October 14, 2015

This Week's Quote

I think animal testing is cruel. They get all nervous and give silly answers.

Stephen Fry


Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Academic History Happens

Here in Seattle, the University of Washington has announced that Ana Mari Cauce will be the next president of the university.  Cauce is a Latina lesbian.

Repeat after me:  Oh my God!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

This Week's Quote

Oh, there are homophobes still left. Most of them are running for President, I think.

Vice President Joe Biden at the HRC National Dinner


Wednesday, September 30, 2015

This Week's Quote

What a weekend we had here. This was the kind of weekend that makes you love New York - in one place in New York City, the Billy Graham crusade, not even a mile away the gay pride parade. Only in New York City. By the way, the Billy Graham crusade, the gay pride parade, guess which one of those groups was trying to convert people to their agenda and lifestyle? The crusade or the parade? I believe it was the crusade.

Jon Stewart


Friday, September 25, 2015

Adventures in Narcissism

Today the movie "Stonewall" opens.  Today is also my birthday.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

This Week's Quote

Sometimes I feel that I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body - which actually works out pretty well.



Wednesday, September 16, 2015

This Week's Quote

It's a scientific fact that if you stay in California you lose one point of your IQ every year.

Truman Capote


Tuesday, September 15, 2015

"Don't Be Happy, Worry"

The Kinsey Sicks worry that you don't worry enough.  Watch and learn.  Feh!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

This Week's Quote

The fact that this Kentucky county clerk doesn't want to do her job makes me wonder why she hasn't gone much farther in politics.

Andy Borowitz

Source:  Facebook

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Davis, Humor and Taking the Low Road

I write humor on LGBT issues.  Hence Kim Davis is a gift from God to me.

She refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay couples but she's on her fourth marriage?  That level of hypocrisy comes my way only so often.  Thank you, Jesus.

Some say the refusal of the Rowan (Ky.) county clerk to do her job, to obey the law and to treat all people equally has earned her everything she's getting, from jail time to international derision.

I want to agree.  I just can't.

When I write, I try to avoid what seem to me cheap shots.  These days, my schedule being crowded, I don't have much time to write, but I can't stand the sight of a bare blog, so I post funny memes and cartoons.  I've posted a couple on Davis, but I've declined to post others, even some that made me laugh.

Like the meme with a big picture of Davis' face surrounded by the words, "When you're so anti-gay no one will do your hair."  Damn that's funny.  I wish I'd thought of it.  And I won't use it.

The there's the meme with nine separate pictures of Davis and the words, "How does someone this ugly get married four times?"  Oy.

Some of us, gay and straight, are crossing a line with Davis.  These memes are cruel.  They're personal attacks.  And, from a humor point of view, they're unnecessary--there's plenty of material to mine in the Davis case without going to the gutter.

These particular memes also made my inner "Lost-in-Space" warning--Danger, Leslie Robinson!--go off.  They smack of gay male misogyny, of the shallow impulse to castigate a woman for her looks.  I'll pass.

Mind you, I could be called out for a meme I did post.  In it Davis sits amidst the cast of "Orange Is the New Black," just one of the (imprisoned) girls.  I captioned it "Better Hope She Doesn't Bunk with Boo."  I meant that Boo, as a diehard lesbian with a fondness for revenge, would be an unpleasant and possibly violent roomie to the anti-gay Davis.  But it could be said that I was implying something even worse, that Davis would be raped.

Another meme made that much clearer, with its description of Boo as Davis' upcoming fifth husband.  Funny?  Hell yes.  Did I use it?  Hell no.  Humor is easier when you don't have a conscience.

In precisely the same vein, not long ago a meme went around Facebook showing the rotund Gov. Chris Christie in a softball uniform with the words, "Christie says female Viagra will increase lesbianism.  But not as much as this picture."

I hooted.  I wanted to post it.  But . . . it's fat-shaming.  I dithered.  Then I did a little research and discovered another reason not to use the meme. Christie never said that about lesbian Viagra.  The meme's premise--and the joke's premise--was a lie.

If only all my decisions were that easy.

She Was Just Warming Up

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

This Week's Quote

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.

Francis Maude


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Religious About It

Despite being rebuffed by the Supreme Court yesterday, Kim Davis, Rowan (Ky.) county clerk, today continued to defy the law by turning away same-sex couples seeking marriage licenses.  Supporters of Davis, an Apostolic Christian, compared her to the biblical figure of Paul.

Was he married four times, too?

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

This Week's Quote

In honor of Women's Equality Day, marking the 95th anniversary of American women getting the right to vote, here's Pat Robertson's memorable take on those who fight for gender equality:

"[Feminism is] a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."


Ruff-ly Speaking

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

This Week's Quote

The next time someone asks you, "Hey, how did you get to be a homosexual anyway?" tell them, "Homosexuals are chosen first on talent, then interview. The swimsuit and evening gown competition pretty much gets rid of the rest of them."

Karen Williams


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

This Week's Quote

Being gay and being a woman has one big thing in common, which is that we both become invisible after the age of 42.  Who wants a gay 50-year-old?  No one, let me tell you.  I could set myself on fire in a gay bar, and people would just light their cigarettes from me.

Rupert Everett

Source:  Between The Lines

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

This Week's Quote

Trinity Episcopal in San Francisco is a "gay nineties" church.  Everybody is either gay or ninety.

Rev. Robert Cromey

Source:  The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said

Friday, July 31, 2015

In the Holiday Spirit

Today, July 31, is National Orgasm Day.  Yesterday was National Cheesecake Day.  If you combine them into one big celebration you might not live to see August.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

This Week's Quote

Betty Ford saw me naked and started drinking again.

Joan Rivers

Source:  The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

This Week's Quote

Miller Beer is running openly gay ads.  The guys are using coasters.

Craig Kilborn

Source:  The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

This Week's Quote

I envy paranoids; they actually think that people are paying attention to them.

Susan Sontag

Source:  The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said

Monday, July 13, 2015

He Does Love Wings

While sermonizing in a Georgia Baptist church on Sunday against the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage ruling, Fox News radio host Todd Starnes noted that Chick-fil-A is "the official chicken of Jesus."

Starnes was making a joke.  I'll say he was.  Everyone knows Jesus is a Bojangles' man.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Tangy Titles

I wonder if I'm the only lesbian with this problem.  When I think about "Orange Is the New Black," the Netflix series about women in prison, I conflate it with Jeanette Winterson's novel "Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit."  The result?  "Oranges Are Not Black."

Please, no more lesbian touchstones with citrusy titles.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

This Week's Quote

Miss Prism:  Your German grammar is on the table.  Pray open it at page fifteen.  We will repeat yesterday's lesson.
Cecily:   But I don't like German.  It isn't at all a becoming language.  I know perfectly well that I look quite plain after my German lesson.

Oscar Wilde

Source:   The Importance of Being Earnest

Monday, July 6, 2015

"The Kiss Heard Round the World"

American soccer star Abby Wambach's post-victory kiss yesterday with her wife Sarah Huffman  was all over Facebook today.  "Wambach kissing her wife after winning the World Cup will warm your heart," announced Time.  A "touching moment" proclaimed US Weekly.  Cosmopolitan declared, "Wambach melted everyone's hearts when she rushed the stands to kiss her wife."

So soon after the Supreme Court's legalizing of same-sex marriage, that kiss is making Americans' hearts mushy.

Except Antonin Scalia's.  His remains harder than the Washington Monument.

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Hurtling Forward with the Agenda

My friends Louisa and Virginia have been legally married in the state of Washington for going on two years.  Immediately after the U.S. Supreme Court released its decision allowing same-sex couples all over the country to marry, Louisa posted an announcement on her Facebook page.  

"Let's get going on the Nefarious Homosexual Agenda right away!" she wrote. "Virginia and I are proud to announce that we are going to marry our dog, as we've been secretly planning all along."

Mind you, that Sophie is one cute dog.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

This Week's Quote

It's hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full Constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did.

Stephen Colbert


Friday, June 26, 2015

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

It's 8:25 in the morning here in Seattle, and I'm at work.  Pretty sure my boss won't mind if I dash off a few words on the momentous news I heard after turning on the car radio this morning.

Even if she does mind, I can't help myself.  The moment is too big.

The Supreme Court has legalized same-sex marriage across the United States.  Today the arc of history is a rainbow.

As my wife and I listened to NPR analyze the 5-4 decision, I whooped.  Anne cried.  When I dropped her off at work, we ran into a lesbian friend of ours.  "My coffee guy comped me this coffee," said Natalie.  How's that for a very Seattle way to celebrate the news?

Because it's supposed to be so bloody hot this weekend, Anne and I had decided to forego Pride.  We'll be rethinking that decision.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

This Week's Quote

If your gym caters to a mostly gay crowd, you will probably get to watch "Myra Breckinridge" while you sweat.

Meryl Cohn

Source:  "Do What I Say":  Ms. Behavior's Guide to Gay & Lesbian Etiquette

Monday, June 22, 2015

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

This Week's Quote

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."

Shelly Roberts


Friday, June 12, 2015

At Last, the Evidence

By now you may well have heard about Australians Nick and Sarah Jensen, the Christian couple threatening to divorce if same-sex marriage becomes legal in Australia.

Sure, the Jensens have been ridiculed around the world, but I want to take a moment to do something else.  I want to thank them.

For years preachers and politicians have thundered that marriage will be harmed if gays can legally wed.  For years I've labored to understand that argument.  Now, finally, here's the proof!  On a planet of over 7 billion people, two individuals in Canberra feel sufficiently put out by the prospect of gay marriage that they might divorce.

That's enough for me.  I'm getting my marriage annulled in the morning.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

This Week's Quote

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Noel Coward


Monday, June 8, 2015

She's a Keeper

This photo and caption ran yesterday on the Humans of New York Facebook page:

"We met on a dating site twelve years ago. I sent her a message saying: 'I want to let you know up front that I'm in a wheelchair, because I can't hide it.' And she wrote back: 'Why? Is it bright yellow?'"

Friday, June 5, 2015

Throwing His Hat in the Ring

New York Times op-ed columnist Frank Bruni--who, by the way, is openly gay--penned a piece this week about the gaggle of Republican presidential candidates, and I love it, love it, love it.  Here 'tis:

My Road to the White House

I know a hot trend when I see one and I hate to hop aboard too late. So here goes:

I’m announcing my candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination.

Sure, I have severely limited name recognition in the hinterlands and, come to think of it, in most urban, suburban and exurban areas as well. But that isn’t stopping Lindsey Graham.

True, I have questionable hair (what’s left of it). But that’s not going to deter Donald Trump.

My weight has been known to fluctuate, but that connects me to Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie and Jeb Bush, whose Paleo regimen has worked slimming wonders. Forget his position on immigration and check out those new cheekbones! Memo to self: Out with the rigatoni, in with the rib-eye.

My legs aren’t as sturdy as Rand Paul’s. The only way I’d manage a marathon filibuster is if the Senate allowed a Barcalounger and microwave popcorn. But I don’t share his unsettling habit of berating female journalists. I just beg the ones I know to retweet me.

Like Marco Rubio, I have an inspiring immigrant story. My forebears arrived penniless on these shores.

Unfortunately, their country of origin was Italy, which people no longer associate with struggle. They associate it with Prada and prosciutto. One of these is central to my life.

Skeptics will focus on the pesky gaps in my résumé. I’ve never won election to any political office.

But neither has Trump, Ben Carson or Carly Fiorina, and her batting average, zero for one, is worse than mine, which is zero for zero. I’m undefeated.

I made the requisite trip to Israel, but it was ages ago and I stupidly neglected to alert the media, tote along a publicist, pose for photographs at the Western Wall and sup with Bibi. You live and you learn.

I haven’t published a book with a title like “On My Honor” (Perry), “Rising to the Challenge” (Fiorina), “Tough Choices” (Fiorina again), “Unintimidated” (Scott Walker), “American Dreams” (Rubio), “American Patriots” (Rick Santorum), “Leadership and Crisis” (Bobby Jindal) or “Unbroken” (oops, wrong genre).

My memoir, “Born Round,” doesn’t belong. But perhaps I can reissue it as “The Hunger for Greatness” or “Fire in the Belly,” if the latter doesn’t sound too much like I just ate bad Thai.

Clearly I need a “super PAC” and a benefactor willing to float me, I don’t know, $10 million? Possibly $15 million? Do I hear $20 million?

I’ll go to the highest bidder, and if it’s for a sufficiently handsome sum, I could last until the Florida primary and charge a Coconut Grove hotel suite and dinner in South Beach to the campaign.

I used to think that faintness on voters’ radar was an impediment to running. Hardly. In a recent Quinnipiac poll, 69 percent of respondents said that they didn’t know enough about Fiorina to have any opinion of her, 60 percent said the same about Carson, and 56 percent said that about Graham, even though he’s been in Congress for two decades and had himself surgically conjoined with John McCain.

I used to think that a groundswell of support mattered. Not at all. Last I checked, Jindal and George Pataki were both polling below 1.5 percent. That must have them losing to the margin of error.

I used to think that a shot at victory was the point. Ha! There are spoils aplenty on the path to defeat.

I’ll get to ride around in an Escalade with my very own Huma. Minions will buff my Facebook page. “Morning Joe” will beckon, and I hear that you leave the set with a commemorative mug.

I could even come out of this with my own show, provided that I’m not picky about the network, hour, format or guests. And with the right kind of stump speech and pandering, I could emerge as a deity to one micro-constituency or another and have a guaranteed place at podiums forevermore.

If I don’t make the cut for the Fox News debate in August, I’ll just watch it in a nearby pub with Pataki and Graham. Fun! We’ll do shots of Wild Turkey whenever Walker mentions unions, Huckabee invokes God or Ted Cruz praises Ted Cruz.

On second thought, maybe we’ll stick to seltzer.

I haven’t mentioned a platform. What’s the point? Christie was for the Common Core before he was against it. The Walker who ran for re-election in the Wisconsin governor’s race and the one wooing Iowans are second cousins at best.

Every candidate turns to mush. So I, in a blow for integrity, will start out that way.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

This Week's Quote

I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?

Margaret Cho


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

This Week's Quote

I’m all in favor of same-sex marriage ’cause I’ve been having same sex with the wife for the last 30 years.

Martin Duffy, Dublin cab driver, remarking on Irish same-sex marriage referendum


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

This Week's Quote

Gays aren't threatening the sanctity of marriage, DIVORCE is. If you want to keep marriage holy and pure and traditional, ban divorce. Sure, the murder rates will go up . . .

Wanda Sykes


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Look What's on Special

Spotted this cart yesterday in my local grocery store.  Who knew the
QFC sells disco items?

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Blanchett and the Record

So actress Cate Blanchett told Variety she's had "many" relationships with women.

For the record, not one of them was with me.


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

This Week's Quote

I think God is a callous bitch not making me a lesbian. I'm deeply disappointed by my sexual interest in men.

Diamanda Galás


Monday, May 11, 2015

"Even Mexico and Alabama"

Ireland votes on marriage equality on May 22.  Watch this video to see which side gets the support of musical-comedy trio The Nualas. 

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Driskell v. Homosexuals

In case you missed it, you've been sued.

Sylvia Ann Driskell recently filed suit against homosexuals.  All of us.  In a seven-page, handwritten petition submitted to the U.S. District Court of Omaha, the 66-year-old Nebraskan identified herself as the ambassador for the plaintiffs, God and Jesus Christ.

You'd think they could afford better representation.

Citing Webster's Dictionary and the Bible, Driskell argued "that homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality.  Why else would they have been hiding in a closet."

A quick reminder that I'm not making any of this up.  I'm not that good.

U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard dismissed Driskell's lawsuit a few days ago.  So every homo in the land doesn't have to troop to Nebraska to offer evidence.  A shame, really--would've been a heck of a party.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

This Week's Quote

You know, let me set the record straight. I tease Joe Biden, but you know he has been in my side for seven years. I love that man. He’s not just a great Vice President, he is a great friend. We’ve gotten so close in some places in Indiana, they won’t serve us pizza anymore.

President Obama at the White House Correspondents' Dinner

Source:  The Washington Post

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

This Week's Quote

Don't Mess With Dumbledore's Rights!

Sign outside the Supreme Court yesterday.


Wednesday, April 22, 2015

This Week's Quote

I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying this is fiction.

Ian McKellen

Source:  The Mammoth Book of Great British Humor

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

This Week's Quote

I recently became vegan because I felt that as a Jewish lesbian, I wasn’t part of a small enough minority.

Carol Leifer

Source:  Wikipedia

Monday, April 13, 2015

No Woman, No Cry

Jamaica is known for sun, beaches, reggae--and homophobia that's stronger than Jamaican rum and ganja combined.

Last week President Obama visited the island nation.  He could've confined himself to state business.  Or to visiting the the Bob Marley museum.  Or to drinking a Red Stripe on the beach in a Speedo.

But he didn't.  At the University of the West Indies in the Jamaican capital of Kingston, Obama  conducted a town hall with young people.  In his opening remarks, he praised a woman in the audience named Angeline Jackson, executive director for Quality of Citizenship Jamaica, a lesbian rights group. Obama said:

"Several years ago, when Angeline was 19, she and a friend were kidnapped, held at gunpoint and sexually assaulted. And as a woman, and as a lesbian, justice and society were not always on her side.  But instead of remaining silent, she chose to speak out and started her own organization to advocate for women like her, and get them treatment and get them justice, and push back against stereotypes, and give them some sense of their own power. And she became a global activist.  But more than anything, she cares about her Jamaica, and making it a place where everybody, no matter their color, or their class, or their sexual orientation, can live in equality and opportunity.  That’s the power of one person, what they can do."

Bob Marley probably wouldn't agree with me, but I'd say Obama's effort to call out anti-LGBT violence in Jamaica was a fine example of Positive Vibration.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

This Week's Quote

My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.

Bill Kelly


Friday, April 3, 2015

Business Isn't So Good

Watch what happens when Indiana's anti-gay law collides with home shopping in the Hoosier State.  Click here for the parody from Funny or Die.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

This Week's Quote

Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration act is gay discrimination, pure and simple. You can frost a dog turd, but it's still a dog turd.

Stephen King

Source: Twitter

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

This Week's Quote

"You have been a wonderful mother.  Which is why Zoe is so afraid you'll want to disown her."
"Disown her?  Don't be ridiculous.  She said she was a lesbian, not a Republican."

Jodi Picoult

Source:  Sing You Home

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Status of the Lesbians

Yesterday two of my friends posted Facebook status updates that reflected how times have changed for us lesbians.  Even better, they made me laugh.

Bernie in New York reported that it was "date night with Cindy after filing married joint return.  She's the 'taxpayer' and I'm the 'spouse'!  Guess who's buying dinner?"

And Kate in Michigan wrote of an experience somewhat less likely to happen now. Years ago she was sitting in a church when the preacher sermonized, "God tells us to love everyone, including prostitutes, money lenders and homosexuals."  Kate's partner whispered, "Can you feel the love?"

"On the way home," Kate added, "I asked her if she'd like a loan." 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

This Week's Quote

All sins are forgiven once you start making a lot of money.



Wednesday, March 11, 2015

This Week's Quote

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

Tallulah Bankhead

Source:  Quotationary

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

This Week's Quote

My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There was nothing latent about it.

Amanda Bearse


Friday, February 27, 2015

When Opportunity Clucks

It seems Chick-fil-A, the Atlanta-based fast-food chain, is expanding into my neck of the woods.  In a column about how we in liberal Seattle have a predilection for boycotting, today's Seattle Times noted that around here Chick-fil-A is best known for its donations to anti-gay groups, not a way to make friends with Seattleites.

One Times reader, though, found the silver lining in Chick-fil-A's move into our area:  "This is awesome news.  I've spent years not eating there from a distance and now I can not eat there locally."

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

This Week's Quote

LSD?  Nothing much happened, but I did get the distinct impression that some birds were trying to communicate with me.

W.H. Auden

Source:  Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

This Week's Quote

I'm not involved in tennis but committed.  Do you know the difference between involvement and commitment?  Think of ham and eggs.  The chicken is involved.  The pig is committed.

Martina Navratilova

Source:  Cassell's Sports Quotations

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Dancing All Together in the Altogether

I'm posting this for Valentine's Day.  I'm a day late.  Can't decide if these people are a dollar short.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

This Week's Quote

I want to thank the man who this record is about, who I fell in love with last year. Thank you so much for breaking my heart, ’cause you got me four Grammys.

Sam Smith

Source:  The Washington Post

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Moore Is Less

Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, the caveman preventing same-sex marriages from taking place in Alabama, is deeply concerned about the implications of gays getting hitched.

That became clear when he posed this question today to a "Good Morning America" reporter:  "Do they stop with one man and one man or one woman and one woman?  Or do they go to multiple marriages?  Or do they go to marriages between men and their daughters or women and their sons?"

I've given this notion all the thought it deserves, and I can say that I have no interest in marrying my father, and not just because he's been dead for 17 years.

He was a Mets fan.  It would never have worked.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

This Week's Quote

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

Gore Vidal

Source:  The Guardian

Mayor Murray, the Early Years

Last week I highlighted The Seattle Times' casual mention that the mayor of Seattle was accompanied to the Super Bowl by his husband.  In case anybody in Seattle hadn't yet grasped we have an openly gay mayor, yesterday's Times removed all doubt.

In a column about a gathering to celebrate a radio station's new home, Nicole Brodeur wrote that the first album Mayor Ed Murray bought was Tom Jones' "Delilah."  And he saw the film "Funny Girl" nine times.

"That's how I figured out I was gay," Murray quipped to the crowd.

That's certainly how the ticket taker figured out he was gay.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

The Big Game

Here in Seattle, the local paper has run approximately 67,000 stories about the Seattle Seahawks over the last two weeks.

In one of today's offerings, a piece about the wagering that traditionally goes on between the mayors of the cities represented in the Super Bowl, The Seattle Times casually noted, "Seattle's mayor will attend the big game in Phoenix with his husband."

I grew up a New England Patriots fan.  But that sentence alone is enough reason to pull for the Seahawks.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Far Better Late than Never

At the age of 82, Broadway star and movie actor Joel Grey has come out as a gay man.  There's only one thing to be said to the fellow who played the Emcee in "Cabaret" so memorably:  Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

This Week's Quote

Agatha Christie has given more pleasure in bed than any other woman.

Attributed to Nancy Banks-Smith

Source:  Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Alabama Echoes

Yesterday a federal judge struck down Alabama's ban on same-sex marriage.  Alabama--yes, Alabama--becomes the 37th state to legalize gay marriage.

US District Judge Callie V.S. Granade ruled that the 2006 Sanctity of Marriage Amendment, which prohibited gay marriage in Alabama, was unconstitutional.

There was a collective heart attack in the Heart of Dixie.

The Alabama attorney general filed a motion asking Granade to issue a stay until the US Supreme Court gets down to business.  And Republican Alabama House Speaker Mike Hubbard released a statement saying:

"It is outrageous when a single unelected and unaccountable federal judge can overturn the will of millions of Alabamians who stand in firm support of the Sanctity of Marriage Act. The Legislature will encourage a vigorous appeals process, and we will continue defending the Christian conservative values that make Alabama a special place to live."

Politicians like that make Alabama a special place to live indeed.  So, so special.

With his heated reaction, it's not hard to imagine Speaker Hubbard adopting the approach of a bygone Alabama politician.  As then-Gov. George Wallace stood in the door of an auditorium at the University of Alabama to block court-ordered school desegregation, maybe Speaker Hubbard will stand in the entrance of a Montgomery church in order to prevent a gay wedding from taking place.

This time, the Alabama National Guard won't be needed.  One angry Alabamian wedding planner--with a schedule to keep and 40 pounds of boiled shrimp threatening to go bad in her backseat--will put the blowhard in his place.  Right in the camellias.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

This Week's Quote

I've been poor and I've been rich, and rich is better.

Bessie Smith


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

This Week's Quote

Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.

Lea DeLaria


Sunday, January 11, 2015

Hey, Kids, Let's Put on a Show!

With the NFL playoffs underway, everyone here in Seattle is fully in the grip of Seahawks fever.  Well, almost everyone.

This morning at church my friend Dan, a gay guy, told me someone had just asked him if he'd watched the game yesterday.  Dan scoffed when describing the exchange.  "Gay men watch football like straight men watch musicals," he laughed.

I have the recipe for a box-office smash:  a musical about football. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

This Week's Quote

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Kinky Friedman


Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Like a Day Without Sunshine?

On this day, gay couples began marrying in Florida.  I can't be the only homosexual of a certain age wondering what the hell Anita Bryant is thinking today.

Marriage.  It isn't just for heterosexuals anymore!