Wednesday, December 28, 2016

This Week's Quote

It is becoming increasingly obvious that David Bowie has established a better alternate universe and is populating it selectively one-by-one.

Miss Texas 1967

Source:  Twitter

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

The Appropriate Slogan

Since I plan to participate in the Women's March on Washington next month, it's time to consider what my sign should say.  At the moment I'm leaning toward "Dyke Against Mike" or "Lesbian Pussy Protector."

Can't Go Soon Enough

Saturday, December 24, 2016

A Holiday Gift From Me to You

I post this every Christmas because I love it so.  The sound quality ain't great, but oh, what these boys do with "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

This Week's Quote

Not all gays respond to the same stuff. Would Alexander the Great have loved Auntie Mame?

Bruce Bawer


Tuesday, December 20, 2016

A Call to Ferret--Again

Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council and all-around gay-hater, released a statement urging President-elect Trump to purge the State Department of the "LGBTQ and abortion activists" President Obama installed who "promote the Left's view" of sexuality and abortion rights.

The statement said, "The incoming administration needs to make clear that these liberal policies will be reversed and the 'activists' within the State Department promoting them will be ferreted out and will be replaced by conservatives who will ensure the State Department focuses on true international human rights like religious liberty which is under unprecedented assault."

Somewhere Joe McCarthy and Roy Cohn are doing the bunny hop.

Friday, December 16, 2016

The Dildo Defense

Here's something you don't hear every day.

A couple of nights ago, a masked man walked into Lotions and Lace, a sex shop in San Bernadino, Calif., as the employees were closing up.

"I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us," the woman in charge, "Amy," told a local TV station. "But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don't have time for this."

No indeed.  She had a store to close.  Sex toys to count.

He pointed the gun, which Amy didn't think was real, said this was a robbery and grabbed her arm, at which point the other female employee started hurling dildos at him.  With Amy yelling and the other woman pelting him with distinctively shaped silicone, the would-be thief exited the store.  He left with no cash in hand, and little dignity to speak of.

Click here to see the video, because it could be a while before you again have a chance to see flying dildos.  Unless they catch on as a method of foiling robberies.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

This Week's Quote

Donald Trump claimed that he decided to settle the Trump University lawsuits so he could focus on running the country. Then he went back to tweeting insults at the cast of "Hamilton."

Jimmy Fallon


Friday, December 9, 2016

Possession Obsession

In this first bizarre month after Trump's election, it's easy to believe that things can't get any crazier.  Two LGBT news stories this week said otherwise.

On his TV show called "Pray in Jesus Name," Gordon Klingenschmitt, a Colorado state legislator, addressed the fact that Zales included a lesbian couple in a recent TV ad.  All involved, he said, are under demonic possession.

“It is a demonic spirit not only inside of the lesbian couple who are pretending to get married in this TV commercial, but now influencing and ruling in the hearts of the ad executives who have decided at Zales Jewelers that they should promote this as a good thing to all of America,” said Klingenschmitt.

Meanwhile, an organization out of New Jersey called the Spiritual Science Research Foundation is offering this on its website:  "The main reason behind the gay orientation of some men is that they are possessed by female ghosts."

It's that "female ghost in them that is attracted to other men. Conversely the attraction to females experienced by some lesbians is due to the presence of male ghosts in them."

Ghostly possession explains up to 85 percent of gay people, claims the paranormal group.

With all those ghosts and demons inside us, every gay person is a crowd. Now you know why wherever gay people go, there's a party.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

This Week's Quote

If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters.

Anita Bryant

Source:  Rolling Stone

Gandalf the Pink

Can a wizard sporting Hello Kitty retain his authority?

from Erik M.

Monday, December 5, 2016

A Celebratory Poem

Election Day was nearly a month ago, but today a certain governor of North Carolina conceded to challenger Roy Cooper.  In 2016, we'll take any good election news we can.  And make it rhyme.  Sort of.

There was a southern governor named McCrory,
Who thought HB2 was hunky-dory.
    The economy took a whack,
    And voters gave him the sack.
No longer does Pat guard the lavatory.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The 2016 Welcome Wagon

Noted homophobe and Vice President-elect Mike Pence is temporarily renting a home in the Chevy Chase neighborhood of Washington, D.C.  Several of his new neighbors responded by hanging rainbow flags from their homes.

There's even talk of delivering rainbow cakes to Pence's door.  Such neighborliness.  That's sure to make the Midwesterner feel right at home.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

This Week's Quote

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove of homosexuality.  It's like disapproving of rain.

Francis Maude


Monday, November 28, 2016

Protecting Minors From the Likes of Mike

Erie County, N.Y., legislator Patrick Burke has introduced a law to ban conversion therapy.  The legislation is called the Prevention of Emotional Neglect and Childhood Endangerment--or PENCE.

Nice Brogue

from Lizzy the Lezzy

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Mike's Night Out

Mike Pence had a rough night at the theater last night.  It wasn't as rough as Abraham Lincoln's night at the theater, but it's worth mentioning.

Pence went to see "Hamilton" on Broadway, and as he headed to his seat, fellow theater-goers booed him.  After the show, cast member Brandon Dixon addressed him directly, saying, “We, sir, we are the diverse America, who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us, our planet, our children, our parents or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights."

Now, reports The Huffington Post, the #NameAPenceMusical hashtag has Twitter users offering up Pence-ified versions of classic musicals, and boy are they good.  My favorites:

--Bigot and the Beast
--Joseph Isn't Allowed To Wear His Technicolor Dreamcoat In Public Anymore
--Deport Miss Saigon
--Les Deplorables
--The Lyin' King
--An American In Paris Cause He Needed Healthcare
--Annie Get Your Gun Without A Background Check
--Annie Get Your IUD (before Jan 20)

Friday, November 18, 2016

These First 10 Days

Here we are, 10 days out from that awful, no good, very bad Election Day. Since that day, there have been over 700 incidents of harassment around the country, reports the Southern Poverty Law Center, with 80 of those being anti-LGBT.

It's mourning in America.

In his recent interview with "60 Minutes," president-elect Donald Trump surprised everyone when he described same-sex marriage as having been "settled" by the Supreme Court.  The matter is "done" and he's "fine with that."

He wasn't fine with it during the campaign, saying he would "strongly consider" appointing Supreme Court justices who would overturn marriage equality.   Is he lying now?  Then?  Does he know?

Today we learned that Trump wants Jeff Sessions to be his attorney general. The Alabama senator consistently earned zeroes on HRC's Congressional Scorecard, due to his penchant for voting against LGBT rights every chance he got.  The Advocate reports that in one session he zoomed to an HRC score of 15 out of 100 because he voted to confirm a gay federal judge.  I can only assume some bad Senate bean soup that day put him off his game.

Did I start by saying it was a terrible Election Day?  Yes, the top race had a ghastly result, but there were positive results as well.  Oregon became the first state to elect an openly LGBT governor by choosing bisexual Kate Brown.  It looks like North Carolina has dumped Gov. Pat McCrory, he of HB2 infamy, for Democrat Roy Cooper.

But McCrory is now claiming voter fraud.  His campaign says dead people voted.  That could be--I'm thinking a bunch of deceased transgender folks, angered by Gov. Bathroom, came back to flush McCrory away.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

This Week's Quote

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

Stephen Colbert


Sunday, November 13, 2016

Is It a Deal?

I've reached the bargaining stage of grieving.  If Donald Trump will relinquish all claims to the presidency, I promise I'll no longer think of him as an asshole.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

This Week's Quote

Loud gay, upon reaching the front of the line at the polls, to no one: "And Trump thinks we're trying to do this twice? Girl, I'm busy."

Sam Lansky

Source:  Twitter

The Day After

Like so many, I'm mired in grief and shock at Hillary's loss to The Donald.  But that won't stop me from spitting out a few thoughts:

--I'm not moving to Canada.

--The last time I was this upset following an election I was 17 and Ronald Reagan had clobbered Jimmy Carter and I feared imminent nuclear annihilation.  So far Trump has annihilated decency, and we'll see what else he gets his short fingers on in the months to come.

--I strongly suspected that Melania was going to divorce Donald minutes after the election.  Now she's stuck with him.

--If I were any sort of a business person, I'd start printing "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Hillary" bumper stickers.

--I called my 81-year-old mother this morning, and she said, "I feel like I've lost my country."  I responded, "That's how Trump supporters felt."  We've heard much about the economic fears of Trumpians, but I believe the cultural fears were just as important.  Many Americans didn't recognize their country after a black president, a female presidential candidate, gay marriage and transgender people being spoken of, let alone given rights.  As commentator Van Jones said, this was a white-lash.  And it's given the rest of us whiplash.

--Remind me.  When's his rape trial?

--This statement from the leader of the National Center for Lesbian Rights pretty much sums up my feelings about Trump and where we go from here:

By a slim margin, this nation has elected a demagogue who trafficked in bigotry, stoked racist hatred and normalized misogyny. The election of Donald Trump as President threatens basic principles of human dignity and justice. Many of our most cherished values—inclusion, honoring difference, embracing equality, dismantling oppressive systems—are in jeopardy, but we will not be deterred. This is the moment we are called to resist. We are about to be tested as never before, and speaking for myself, and NCLR, we will not stand down, sit idle or be silent in the face of oppression, bullying or threat. This election result is devastating for our nation and especially for the most vulnerable. But we will fight on and will never give up. We must be the ones we are waiting for. Together, we fight on and we fight back. We must harness our grief, fear and outrage and serve justice.

--This morning I spotted in my living room a spider with at least 45 legs and a body the size of a Subaru.  It would've been easy, maybe even cathartic, to smash the hell out of it, but I took it outside, a small but conscious act of kindness that seems called for right now.  Of course, if the spider returns inside, all bets are off.

--With life promising to get harder for all minorities, it's especially incumbent on the LGBT community to continue to build and maintain bonds with other groups.  We must be a united front against a common orange enemy, and his supporters, the orange drops.

--Again, I'm not moving to Canada.  It's a lovely place and I have Canadian relatives who would make me welcome, but I choose to stay and fight.  Please join me.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Visiting a Shrine on Election Day

Did you see, courtesy of the all-day live feed from WROC in Rochester, N.Y., the thousands of women, children and men who stood in line to visit Susan B. Anthony's grave on this Election Day?  The line was so long you might've thought the Macy's Santa was at the end of it.

These pilgrims took pictures and left their "I Voted" stickers on her grave.  One of millions who watched the feed on Facebook, I thought about Anthony's bitter fight for women's suffrage and how this day represents, in the candidacy of Hillary Clinton, the culmination of Anthony's struggle.  This was a day for pride and gratitude.  And weepiness.

We'll never know whether Anthony was, as some historians believe, a lesbian. After today, though, we know something else noteworthy:  she remains a powerful symbol for many.  The Susan B. Anthony dollar was unpopular, but Anthony herself is gold.

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Part of the Plot

When Steven Hotze of Conservative Republicans of Texas spoke last weekend at the anti-LGBT Stand4Truth conference in Houston, he told his audience that "the homosexual political movement" has "infiltrated" America.

"Think of them like termites," he offered, "they get into the wood of the house and they eat away at the very moral fabric of the foundation of our country." Destroying America's moral fabric was always Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev's plan, he explained.

So I'm a communist insect.  That'll spice up my resume.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

This Week's Quote

Donald Trump is for people whose problem with Joseph McCarthy is "too sexy."

Louis Virtel


Saturday, October 29, 2016

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

This Week's Quote

I was on this ship with 800 lesbians . . . we can't get off . . . so much drama. "Were you looking at her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her? Well were you?"

Margaret Cho


Monday, October 24, 2016

Clinton vs. Trump, Round 3

After the first two presidential debates I wrote about how--and whether--LGBT issues had been addressed in them.  I meant to do the same after the third debate, but this excruciating campaign has enervated me.

I have a reputation to uphold, however, so here's a simple summation.  Clinton--marriage equality still good.  Trump--gay people being pushed off buildings in the Middle East.

He was right about that, but being The Donald, he got most of the facts around it wrong.  See Advocate editor Neal Broverman's editorial for the particulars.

And see me being thrilled there are no more debates.

Monday, October 17, 2016

News Anchor Makes News

Fox News anchor Shepard Smith came out as gay today.  In further surprises, Hillary Clinton is a Democrat.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

They're Baaaack!

After a decade, Will and Grace and Jack and Karen return.  For nine minutes. What brought them out of retirement?  What else?

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Trump Said Something Wonderful

Years ago, Donald Trump said he's never had a gay thought in his life.  Thank God.  If he turned out to be one of us I don't think I could go on.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

This Week's Quote

"When they go low, you go high." Trump has defined new lows, so I guess Hillary will fly soon.

Amanda Deibert while watching the second presidential debate

Source:  Twitter

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Clinton vs. Trump, Round 2

After Donald Trump threatened to throw Hillary Clinton in prison and called her the devil during the second presidential debate, I was in a state of shock.  His approach to that debate wasn't scorched earth--it was scorched universe.

I'm now sufficiently recovered--just--to look at how LGBT rights fared during that debate.  Unlike the first debate, the subject did come up, albeit in a teeny-weeny way.  When asked about the Supreme Court, Clinton said she wants, among other things, a "Court that will stick with marriage equality."

Trump said he wants to appoint justices exactly like Antonin Scalia.  Which is the same as saying he wants a Supreme Court that will reject marriage equality.  And snarkily.

The other point of LGBT interest was that Anderson Cooper became the first openly gay person to serve as a moderator for a presidential debate in the general election.  That fact might've gotten more attention, but when one of the debaters is the world's biggest media whore, Cooper is lucky anyone remembers he was in the room.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Going Public With His Truth

The daughter of singer Sade has come out as a transgender man.  Mickaila Adu, 20 years old, announced on Instagram this week that he's begun transitioning.

Which leaves me to say he's embraced--what else?--the sweetest taboo.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Phenomenon

Andy Borowitz of The New Yorker wrote this satire well over a year ago, but it's plenty pertinent now, what with Christian conservative Mike Pence so close to the vice presidency.


By Andy Borowitz

INDIANAPOLIS—Indiana Governor Mike Pence is “stunned and amazed” that so many people appear to have gay friends, Pence has confirmed.

Speaking to reporters in his office in Indianapolis, Pence said that he made the astonishing discovery about gay friends late last week.

“A lot of everyday people have gay friends, and they’re not afraid to call and/or e-mail you to tell you that,” Pence said. “To be honest, I’m still trying to process it all.”

Pence said that from what he has been able to gather thus far, the phenomenon of “ordinary folks” having gay friends “has been going on for years.”

“You could be walking down the street, and without you knowing it, this person is friends with gays and that person is, too,” he said. “It really seems to be pretty widespread.”

“It’s the darnedest thing,” he added.

While Pence acknowledged that he has “no gay friends personally,” the growing popularity of being friends with gays has made him question whether he has been “missing the boat on this.”

“When I see so many people having gay friends, it makes me wonder if I should go out and get one,” he said. “But I guess that would be kind of hard for me to do now.”

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

This Week's Quote

God, this debate is like watching sweaters dry, but if one of the sweaters hated gay people.

Derrick Lemos on last night's vice presidential debate

Source:  Twitter

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

We Won't Serve You, 'Cause We Think You're Gay

"The Daily Show" gets between North Carolinians and their barbecue.  And it's all legal, thanks to HB2.

Think Positive

We interrupt this excruciatingly negative election season for some positivity.

Monday, October 3, 2016

The Matriarch Marries

She helped make it possible for gay people in this country to get married. Now she's gone and done it herself.


Unless you've been living on a ring of Saturn, you know one of the landmark court cases leading to marriage equality was United States v. Windsor.  In 2013, 84-year-old Edie Windsor went to the U.S. Supreme Court to argue DOMA discriminated against her marriage to the late Thea Spyer.  In a 5-4 decision, the Supremes drop-kicked DOMA.

Windsor was runner-up for the 2013 Time Person of the Year.  Pope Francis edged her out, maybe because he has a friend in a certain high place.

Windsor and Spyer were together over four decades, and got legally married near the end.  Now Windsor has decided to take another marriage spin.  On Sept. 26 she wed Judith Kasen.

Windsor is 87, Kasen is 51.  Windsor's feisty enough to go to the Supreme Court; she's feisty enough to enter into a marriage with that kind of age difference.

For her part, Kasen has wed the woman Time called "the matriarch of the gay-rights movement."  I don't know if there are rules for marrying a matriarch, but I'm guessing it involves breakfast in bed.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

This Week's Quote

We can't elect a man who is obsessed with hate for Rosie O'Donnell. You never hear Putin bring up Yakov Smirnoff in a political debate.

Arsenio Hall

Source:  Twitter

The Debate You Didn't See

Randy Rainbow is at it again.  Thank goodness.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Clinton vs. Trump, Round 1

Last night, in the first debate between the two presidential contenders, the subject of LGBT people never came up.

I don't whether to be relieved or offended.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Edward and George and Martha

It's so easy to get caught up in America's current political and social turmoil--especially with the first presidential debate just hours away--but something happened earlier this month that I won't let go unmentioned.

Edward Albee died.  Whether you loved or hated the openly gay playwright's work, he was one of the most significant figures in American theater history.

Personally, I'm grateful to him for having written "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"  That play and movie set a standard in more ways than one.  When my wife Anne and I are having a particularly intense argument and one of us says, "We sound like George and Martha," that's a warning that the fight is getting way too heated.

Come to think of it, there could be another George-and-Martha performance today.  Not from Anne and me.  From Donald and Hillary.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Friday, September 23, 2016

Today's Suggestion

from Ithaca College Center for LGBT Education, Outreach & Services

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

This Week's Quote

I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.

Tyler Oakley


Monday, September 19, 2016

Royally Gay

Lord Ivar Mountbatten, a cousin of Queen Elizabeth, has become the first member of the British royal family to come out as gay.

I'm sure there's never been another gay person in the history of the British monarchy.

Uh huh.  And Anne Boleyn was a Spice Girl.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Sea Change

A little over two months ago, the American military lifted its ban on transgender troops.  A week ago, at the Navy Memorial, Blake Dremann became the first openly transgender service member to be promoted.

These relatively speedy changes give even me pause, and I suspect make many a Deplorable want to jump back into his basket.

Wearing his male summer whites, Dremann was promoted from lieutenant to lieutenant commander.  Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Operational Energy Amanda Simpson, the highest ranking transgender person in the Department of Defense, performed the ceremony.

As if all that wasn't great enough, my favorite part of the story is the reaction of Dremann's parents, who flew in from St. Louis for the event.  Were they proud?  His mother Diane said, "He's been the apple of my eye for years and years and we finally got to make one (of his promotions)."

She also said, "I wouldn't be surprised if he'll be the first transgender admiral."

Nothing like a little parental pressure to round out any ceremony.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

This Week's Quote

I have van Gogh's ear for music.

Stephen Fry

Source:  The Mammoth Book of Great British Humor

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Anderson Can't Take His Show on the Road

Pastor Steven Anderson has uttered so many appalling anti-gay statements he must be the love child of Fred Phelps and Phyllis Schlafly.  After the Orlando massacre, Anderson celebrated "there's 50 less pedophiles in this world."

Anderson, the leader of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Ariz., was readying to take his brand of Christian love to South Africa.  Today that country said don't bother.  South African Home Affairs Minister Malusi Gigaba, citing anti-discrimination laws meant to "prevent and prohibit hate speech," said he's banning Anderson from South Africa indefinitely.

Bet Tempe wishes it could do the same.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Babs Skewers The Donald in Song

At a recent LGBT for Hillary fundraiser in New York, Barbra Streisand offered a reworked version of "Send In the Clowns."  Broadway never sounded so good.

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

This Week's Quote

I'm a black, gay woman. I think the only way to make the GOP hate me more is if I sent them a video of me rolling around on a pile of welfare checks.

Wanda Sykes


Tuesday, September 6, 2016

The Confusing Phyllis Schlafly

When Phyllis Schlafly died yesterday, a meme raced around Facebook with her picture and the Schlafly quote, "There will be a woman president over my dead body!"  Many gleefully responded that God took that deal.

Schlafly never said those words, according to Snopes.  But it's easy to believe she had.  The ardent anti-feminist who led the successful fight against the ERA was a study in dissonance.  She practiced politics in order to prevent other women from doing the same.  She made a career out of trying to deny other women careers.  Schlafly was a tightly coiffed contradiction.

That fact is painfully apparent in another area.  Schlafly fought against gay rights tooth and nail.  The Advocate called her "one of history's worst homophobes."  Yet her eldest son was gay.

That's gay, gay, gay!  Yup, I've long considered that one of the juicier ironies in the story of the Right.

When her son John was outed by the gay press in 1992, Schlafly didn't soften her homophobia one bit.  And for his part, John kept working for his mother and her Eagle Forum organization.

I guess John's a chip off the old coif.  Schlafly passed down to her son that cognitive dissonance.  I hope she's left him plenty of money to compensate.

Monday, September 5, 2016

Sort of Ready to Answer the President's Call

My wife and I were standing in a long line today when she casually mentioned that she subscribes to a website called Modern Farmer.

"Apparently you and Obama have been talking behind my back," I said.

Anne noted, "Pretty soon I'm going to be issued my flannel shirt."

Well, she isn't really headed to the heartland to take up farming and aggravating Red Staters.  But she actually does get Modern Farmer in her inbox, and has an eye on raising chickens in the future.

I dunno.  When Rush Limbaugh alerted America to the Obama administration's plan of subsidizing lesbians to become farmers so we can "attack rural states," it sounded like Rush expected us dykes to make a serious agricultural commitment.

We're supposed to plow 500 acres in Missouri.  Raising a couple of chickens in Vermont suggests Anne's heart isn't in it.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Season of Firsts

This fall Anderson Cooper will be the first out gay man to moderate a presidential debate in the general election. Donald Trump will be the first Oompa-Loompa to participate in such a debate.