Thursday, May 19, 2016

So Reliable

The mailman recently delivered to my house a piece of unsolicited mail.  Very unsolicited.  It was a slim paperback whose cover warned of a "stupendous crisis."

I opened it.  Cheap paper.  Published in Oklahoma.  Much talk of "the beast."  Must be a Christian mass mailing.

I flipped through the pages, realizing that I was steeling myself for the inevitable anti-gay invective.  I clenched my jaw and scanned through to the end.  But wait.  This was clearly a Christian manifesto of some sort, but I didn't see any anti-gay tirades.  How could that be?

It couldn't, I told myself.  I leafed through the volume more slowly this time. Oh, there it was, right on page 5.  I'd simply missed this sentence:  "Prostitutes, homosexuals, and drug addicts share AIDS with the innocent."

Phew.  All was right with the world.  For a second there I thought ultra-conservative Christians had let me down.  Oh ye of little faith.

Addendum:  I looked up this book, called "National Sunday Law."  It's by A. Jan Marcussen, a Seventh-day Adventist minister, who argues that "the beast" is the papacy.  According to Wikipedia, Marcussen aims to mass-mail his book to every major city in America.  My copy is proof that he's hit Seattle--and fertile ground for his claptrap the Emerald City is not.