Saturday, August 11, 2018

Spaced Out

On Thursday Vice President Mike Pence announced plans for a new branch of the American military, a Space Force.

President Trump wanted to put Elroy Jetson in charge of it, but since Pence fears Elroy is gay, the administration will offer the job to The Great Gazoo.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

This Week's Quote

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

Wanda Sykes

Source:  Azquotes

Sunday, August 5, 2018

Lie in Ruins

The Washington Post  asserts that the number of lies Donald Trump tells has recently increased. The president is making an average of nearly 7.6 false or misleading claims per day.

If I lied at that clip my tongue would fall off.  And that would complicate my life as a lesbian.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

Numbers Game

"InfoWars" host Alex Jones claimed yesterday that Barack Obama is "having sex with 10 dudes a day."

How ludicrous.  It's actually 20 dudes a day.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

This Week's Quote

The Religious Liberty Task Force sounds like the shittiest Justice League ever.


Source:  Twitter